


Apprenticeship Isn't Always Easy

by King_janthony



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blood and Violence, Conflicted Kylo, Dominant Kylo Ren, Dubious Consent, F/M, Inappropriate Use of Lightsabers, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Lightsaber Battles, Masturbation, Pre-TFA, Protective Kylo Ren, Restraints, Semi-Public Sex, Sith Training, emotionally distant Kylo, force-based mind reading, i honestly don't really know what I want to put for the tags, i swear everything is gonna work out in the end, seriously someone get him a therapist, you're kylo ren's apprentice, youre kinda kylos favorite tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:35:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24032119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/King_janthony/pseuds/King_janthony
Summary: After showing signs of being force positive during stormtrooper training, Kylo Ren picked you and a few others to be his apprentices. Only you and 4 others made it this far. Now it's your time to prove to Kylo Ren that you're the one who should rule by his side. Unfortunately, he's been getting on your nerves a lot more lately. And you've been getting on his, too. But in more ways than one...
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 9
Kudos: 41





	1. Co-Workers are shit.

**Author's Note:**

> [This is a not-for-profit fanwork. All characters are the property of their respective copyright holders.]  
> This chapter is mostly context and setting things up, so...yeah. Enjoy! :)

**You** had been training under Commander Ren for a few months. It was hard work, but that’s what it took to make it this far. 15 other Sith Acolytes had been eliminated through Commander Ren’s sick and twisted games. Usually, at the end of each three month training period, there would be a battle royal of some sort, where a specific number of apprentices left standing would move on. At this point in your training, only you and four others remained.

There was Sabrak, an absolute mountain of a creature. He didn’t talk much, but when he did his voice commanded the room. It was deep and booming, enough to shake everyone to their core. He scared the absolute shit out of everyone. You had to hand it to him, he did look pretty cool. His skin was a dark charcoal grey, and his hair was short and pitch black. He had bright, almost glowing, red angular tattoos all over his face and shoulders. Sabrak was a bit of a cult-fanatic, more than any of the other apprentices were. He studied the ancient sith texts and codes way more than necessary and looked up to Supreme Leader Snoke more than Commander Ren. He usually wielded a lightaxe that was burning red with a cool black handle. With Sabrak standing at around 6’6”, the ax was huge. He was a highly dangerous individual. An immovable force.

Then there was Drax, who was far more likable. She was nice and usually kept to herself. Through training, you and she had grown closer, about as close as you could get without attracting Commander Ren’s attention. He had said multiple times that “this is not time to make friends, for they will only weaken you and prevent you from your full potential in the future.” Regardless, You and Drax were tight. She had medium-length mousy brown hair that was normally in some sort of braid resting on her shoulders. A galaxy of freckles dotted her face, arms, and shoulders, and her eyes were a brilliant green that sparkled when she smiled. Which, unfortunately, wasn’t very often. She was the shortest of the group but made up for it with speed and agility. You had a feeling that without Commander Ren’s guidance, she would have fallen towards the light side of the force. Despite this, Drax was an excellent fighter. She was toned and could easily crush someone’s head in between her thighs. You had to admit, that thought came to you more than it should. You could only pray Commander Ren wasn’t listening. Even if he was, he didn’t appear to care.

Moving on, there was also Skorr, who was the creepiest guy on the base. He had peppered black hair with little streaks of grey in it. Usually, it was slicked back with an annoyingly shiny amount of hair gel or potentially grease, no one really knew. He wasn’t nearly as well built as Commander Ren’s other trainees. He was skinny, tall, and pale with a pointed nose. He reminded you of an emo version of General Hux if Hux never showered. Skorr was far skinnier than the rest of the apprentices. The man was practically a skeleton. He reminded everyone of some sort of awkward brooding bird-like-creature. He tries so hard to be like Commander Ren but fails on so many levels. While Commander Ren emits a general aura of intimidation, terror, and hate, Skorr comes off as a creepy try-hard. The slimeball had tried to bed half the other apprentices. You hated him. The number of times he tried to hit on you was insane. Especially during training! You figured the adrenaline gave him a ridiculous confidence boost. Commander Ren watched this happen and did nothing. He figured Skorr wasn’t worth his time. Skorr had a knack for hiding in the shadows and going unnoticed by the others until it was too late to eliminate him.

Skorr was awful, but nothing compared to the absolute nightmare named Sotay Jin. She was the pettiest, most hate-fueled bitch in the bunch aside from Commander Ren himself, of course. Her hair was bright blonde and lightly curly, usually tied up in a ponytail. Despite everyone’s uniforms being designed personally by Commander Ren, Sotay had taken a few matters into her own hands. Mostly opening the front of the uniform to better accentuate her one and only set of assets. Her nose had accidentally been broken a few months prior by Sabrak and never healed right. She was unbalanced, built more like a capital “P” than anything else. She obviously had her eye on the Commander and would do anything to get his attention. Unfortunately for her, he never returned any of her advances. You chose to believe he thinks of her more as a nuisance rather than a viable apprentice. Despite all of this, she could fight well. She was a ruthless, cold-hearted killer using light daggers as her main weapon. She wasn’t exactly super accurate but that girl was fast. You could see why Commander Ren let her get this far, she definitely has hints of his personality in her own.

You weren’t particularly close to anyone on Starkiller Base, except Commander Ren. Since day one, you caught his eye. You were a quick learner, obedient, and smart. Commander Ren saw this and took you on a few of his personal missions. They all went well, further allowing your image to shine. Unfortunately, Commander Ren had been off base for a few days, leaving all of his apprentices to stay in their personal quarters.

Ren’s apprentices had their own wing on Starkiller. Only a few higher-ups, such as General Hux, Captain Phasma, and a platoon of stormtroopers, knew of their existence outside of the Supreme Leader and Commander Ren. Beyond missions and training, you were mostly confined to your quarters.

The rooms were spacious, you had to give them that. Commander Ren definitely didn’t skimp out on luxuries. The bathrooms and bedrooms were incredibly beautiful and comfortable. Despite all of this, you didn’t actually like spending much time in your room. You mostly spent her time in the training room with Sotay. You’d spar together almost every day, nearly murdering each other at every swish of your blade. Today wasn’t one of those days. Today, you decided maybe a little isolation was good. Well, more isolation than normal.

Yesterday’s training was exhaustive, and you were still incredibly sore. Nothing like Commander Ren’s endless berating and critiquing, Sabrak’s heavy attacks, Sotay’s mental warfare, and Skorr’s unwanted advances to tire someone out. You were not about to march back into the training room and endure another four or five hours with Sotay. Commander Ren was off base, so it wasn’t like he could force you into going. The day was yours to enjoy.

You didn’t get many days off. You weren't exactly sure what to do with yourself. After simply sitting on your bed for a few moments, you decided a walk might be best. You slipped your shoes on and stepped out into the empty halls of Starkiller base.

Everything was shiny, sleek, and pitch black. Occasionally a droid would come bustling by, carrying something off to a different room or different part of the base. Things were quiet. Almost a little too quiet. Without Commander Ren, there wasn’t that much to do. The cold began to settle in, chilling you through your uniform. Considering living on Starkiller, you’d think Commander Ren would use heavier material.

“Maybe a bath would be nice,” you thought aloud, massaging the back of your neck absentmindedly. “Yeah…” You turned decisively on your heel and started walking back towards your room, an air of confidence in your step.

The bathroom, much like the rest of the base, was shiny and black. There was a wonderfully large bathtub that took up an entire corner of the room with all sorts of different colored and scented soaps on the counters. A dark marble counter lined the entirety of the adjacent wall, with a large mirror filling the space behind it. You started to run the water, which came out this ornate tap in one of the corners. As the bath began filling, you undressed, leaving the first order uniform in a pile on the floor. When the water reached the brim of the tub, you turned off the faucet and slid into the warm and comforting water. With a heavy sigh, your eyes fluttered shut, letting the pleasant floating feeling wash your worries away.

_A hot wind whipped the iron-laced sand against your cheek, leaving stinging red marks. You looked down and found yourself knee-deep in a sand dune. Everywhere you looked it was just sandy hills for miles and miles. The ruins of a small structure lay ahead of you but the more you tried to push through the deep sand, the further it seemed to be. After trudging onwards for what felt like hours, you finally reached the broken structure. Only a few archways, walls, and columns remained of this old temple. As you entered the ruins, a dramatic scene lay before you._

_The bodies of twenty men dressed in all black were strewn about. A man in grey robes was sprawled on the ground, his deactivated lightsaber just out of arms reach. Commander Ren stood tall, just a few feet away. His lightsaber ignited with a crackle, and he began to stride towards the man on the ground, malicious intent lacing the air. The grey-robed man didn’t fight it. He just laid there in the sand in utter defeat._

_Something inexplicable washed over you. A deep desire to stop this. As Ren raised his lightsaber above his head, the air crackling with red, angry, energy. You reached forwards, trying to get to him in time. Something held you back. An invisible force held you in place as you realized you hadn’t moved a muscle. You were just standing there, paralyzed, watching._

_Ren brought the saber down with no hesitation, hitting the man on the ground right in the middle of his chest._

You awoke with a jolt, spilling some of the water onto the ground.

“Shit! What time is it?” you asked yourself as you got up and drained the bathwater. “I must’ve fallen asleep…”

The image of Commander Ren and the man in grey played itself over and over again. You hoped that it would fade, like most of your dreams did. There was just something about the whole thing that seemed eerily familiar, it was a feeling you couldn’t shake.

Ah, whatever. It probably isn’t that big a deal, you thought to yourself. You retrieved a fresh uniform from your closet and slipped your shoes on. As you sat down on the bed, trying to decide what next to do with yourself, the doors to your quarters opened with a hiss.

“Apprentice Y/N, your presence is requested at docking bay 14.” A tall, roughly human-sized shiny black droid stood in the doorway.

“Ah, I see. You may go now, N2-K7,” you replied, nodding in acknowledgment. The droid gave a small bow before heading back out into the hall.

You sighed and pushed yourself up off the bed.

 _I wonder what this is about.._. you thought as you exited your room and started heading towards bay 14. The other apprentices weren’t anywhere to be seen. As a matter of fact, you were the only one in the hallway. Not even the droids were bustling around. This wasn’t unusual, but it only sparked more questions as to why you were being summoned.

As you neared the docking bay, the familiar whirr of tie fighters pulsated through the air. A squadron of stormtroopers marched by, on their way off to the other branches of Starkiller. You hadn’t seen this many people in a little while, so it was nice to have something to do.

You turned the corner to find Kylo Ren’s Command Shuttle sitting in the bay. Immediately your stomach flipped. Your heart pounded against your chest as the butterflies in your stomach surfaced. No matter how many times you worked with Kylo Ren, he always made you feel like this.

General Hux and a few of Ren’s Knights stood at the base of the ramp. You came up behind Hux and took your place at his side.

“General." You tucked your hands behind your back in a similar fashion to Hux’s posture.

“Ah, Y/N. I was wondering if you’d turn up,” he replied, not taking his eyes off of the Command Shuttle.

“What are you implying, General?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing, I just haven’t seen you in a while.” Hux’s gaze remained straightforward.

“I’ve been busy.”

“I’m sure. Do you even know why you’re here?”

“Well, no. Not particularly. I do not doubt the orders given to me, General.”

“Fair enough. Commander Ren sent for you specifically to be here upon his return.”

“Oh?” You were highly confused. _What did Commander Ren want with you? And why couldn’t it wait?_

Kylo Ren exited the command shuttle, his cape dramatically billowing behind him, and his boots clicking against the metal ramp. An air of violence radiated off him.

You could’ve sworn you heard Hux whisper “drama queen” under his breath.

Ren didn’t stop to acknowledge any of the stormtroopers who saluted him, nor did he stop to acknowledge General Hux. You glanced at Hux, hoping for some sort of sign to say something to Ren, but Hux gave you nothing. Instead, he started to follow the Commander like a lost puppy trying to get a word in.

“Sir, Starkiller is nearly fully operational. I shall see to it that it will be ready to fire upon the week. We’ve had a few problems with troop 453, but the issues are being overseen by Captain Phasma and should be resolved shortly. Was your mission successful, Commander?” Hux rattled off.

You walked with Hux and Ren, trying to keep up with their fast pace.

“It was fine. Effective. Good work, General,” Ren said curtly, the helmet deepening his voice.

Hux gave a short nod before diverging off from you and Ren. Ren, however, did not slow down.

“Y/N. Meet me in the training room, I have a few things to tend to first,” Ren finally spoke after a moment of you two walking down the empty hallway.

Your brow furrowed, but you didn’t question his orders. “Yes, Commander.” A small vein of rage surged through your body. _Why couldn’t he have just sent for me AFTER he landed? Why did he make me come all the way out to the docking bay? And where are the others? Why me?_ You internally whined.

“I can hear you,” Ren said before turning down another hallway, leaving you alone.

Colder than the ice on the base, shock jolted through your body. You knew he could do that, but normally you could feel when he read your mind. This only just made you angrier. You were used to Ren but for some reason, today he was really on your nerves.

**You** stood alone in the training room, now in your exercise uniform, which was tighter-fitting than your normal uniform. 

You did a few stretches to warm up, but the fabric of your uniform constricted your movements. You attempted to raise your arms over your head, but the suit wouldn’t allow it. 

“Great…” you sighed, picking at some of the tight fabric on your thighs. You’d have to mention this to Ren so he could get you a new one. Unfortunately, you’d have to make do for today. 

You tossed the hilt of your lightsaber up into the air a few times, catching it with the force before it could hit your palm. You spun around, slashing at imaginary enemies and deflecting fictional blows.

The doors opened with a woosh, and Commander Ren stood in the frame. He stepped inside, letting his cape fall to the floor. He placed his hands on the sides of his helmet and slid it off with a soft hiss. It hit the floor with a thud as his lightsaber crackled to life. He beckoned you forward with a small wave of his fingers. 

You ignited your lightsaber with a flash of red light and lunged towards him, spinning around before hitting his raised blade with a sizzle, red sparks flying as you locked eyes through the blades. There was something different about him today. You could feel it.

Kylo pushed upwards, sending you into another spin. He slashed at you every chance he got. You were deflecting more hits and landing any. 

Rage twinkled in Kylo’s eye as he swung at you again. You were getting more and more confused by the second. This wasn’t the normal type of training you two had, Ren was going much harder than normal. 

Your lightsabers collided again in a crackling frenzy. You pressed against each other’s strength, but neither of you gave.

You suddenly dropped down, causing Kylo to push hard against the air and stumble forward as you attempted to slash at his legs. Kylo jumped upwards and flipped over, pointing his lightsaber at your back. You managed to roll away just in time and hop to your feet. 

The two of you stood, panting, for a moment. Kylo turned off his lightsaber.

“Good work today,” he said as he went to put his mask and cape back on. “I wanted to give you a small skills test. Congratulations, you passed.”

Your heart fluttered a little bit. Praise from Commander Ren was few and far between. You beamed. “Thank you, Commander. I learned from the best,” you said with a smile. 

Your remark was met with no visible response. “Now that I’m back on base, I expect you to show up for training again.”

You nodded. “Sorry, sir. I figured since you weren’t here, then it wasn’t mandatory.”

“They’re always mandatory. You know this.” Ren turned to leave.

“Oh, sir. I meant to ask. Could I get a new training uniform? This one’s getting too small," you asked timidly. 

You could feel Kylo’s gaze scour your body. “I’ll have a new one delivered to your quarters,” he said, turning on his heel and marching out of the training room.

Exhausted, you fell to her knees once the Commander was out of sight. It had been a long day.

**You** made it back to your quarters after the intense training session. Everything hurt, and worst of all, the uniform was getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute.

You struggled to pull the sleeves off, then the torso. The fabric practically stuck to your skin as you pulled it up over your head. Finally free of the shirt, you tried to get the pants off. They clung to your legs for dear life as you pulled on the pants leg. With a final push of energy, you finally got them off. 

You let out a heavy sigh and collapsed on the bed in only your underwear. 

“Agh,” you mumbled, realizing how incredibly uncomfortable the wrap around your chest was. The fasteners were beginning to dig into your sides and hurt your back. You usually only wore it for training, since going without one was inconvenient and uncomfortable and your regular uniform didn’t require one. 

_Ah, whatever. Not like I’m expecting anyone anyways,_ you thought as you unwrapped the tight binding. It felt so good to be free, but unfortunately, the air was cold on your bare chest. Starkiller’s weather systems left the entire base freezing all the time. You would’ve thought that they might’ve fixed the heating systems, but no. 

You gathered up your clothes and took them into the closet. You opened up a small receptacle that held your dirty clothes and dumped them into the bin. As you stood in the closet, trying to decide which robe to wear, the doors to your quarters slid open with a soft woosh.

“N2? Have you got my new uniform?” you called from inside the closet. 

You were met with silence. 

“N2-K7? You called again, still thumbing through different outfits in the closet.

Nothing again. 

You sighed and turned around, expecting a droid to be standing in front of you.

Instead, you were met with a maskless Kylo Ren with a fresh uniform in his arms. His eyes settled on your exposed chest as his pale face flushed a deep red. 

You quickly clutched her hand over your breasts, trying to cover them up. Heat quickly climbing up your face. “I-Whh-uhh…?” you stuttered. 

Kylo quickly snapped back into his body as he shoved the new uniform into your free hand. As soon as it left his fingers, he scurried out of the room. You could hear the click of his boots quickly fading away down the hall.

Embarrassment flooded your system as the events of what just happened really sunk in. “Ohhhh myyy god...oh my god! What the fuck?!” you said, running your hand through your hair. “Did that-? Oh, no...oh no no no no."


	2. Harsh Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo has a crisis, and you lose your shit. You better hope Commander Ren is forgiving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this one took so long! I like how it ended up turning out, though. Enjoy, lovely!

Kylo was practically flying down the hallway, his mind filled with a million thoughts. Most of them were lewd.

_ What was she doing waltzing around her quarters like that?! Why do I feel like this? She’s just an apprentice! Exactly! An apprentice! I can’t go around like this for the rest of the day... _ Kylo was beginning to have another problem on his hands, one that needed to be addressed very shortly. His already tight pants were becoming more and more uncomfortable by the minute. Unfortunately, his quarters were too far away, and this needed to be resolved now.

As he quickly walked down the hall, the perfect opportunity arose.

There was a quiet, secluded maintenance room to the left. He ducked inside and closed the door behind him.

Kylo leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. Despite the chill of the closet, his body felt like it was burning. He could feel his heart in his throat as he tried to control himself.

_ Deep breaths...deep breaths… _

It didn’t work. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was your bare chest. He didn’t have time for this. He had much better things to do than jack off in a closet at the mere sight of his apprentice’s naked breasts. And yet, here he was, unable to contain himself. Unzipping his pants to pull out his twitching cock.

He didn’t normally do this. He barely had the time for these sorts of things. He was Commander of the First Order. He never had the time for himself. Yet, now he was locking himself in a supply closet using his own spit as lubricant.

He slid a leather glove off of one of his hands and shoved it into his mouth to muffle the moans that emanated from deep inside his chest as he touched himself. It had been so long since he’d last masturbated.

His movements became faster and sloppier as he neared his climax. He tightened his grip, jerking his hand violently as his moans grew louder. A small tendril of spit dripped off the glove stuck in his mouth. He could feel tears prick his eyes. It had been too long.

He shut his eyes tightly as impure thoughts crossed his mind.

The way his cum would look, dripping down your chest, or the way his hands would perfectly envelop your breasts, or how beautiful your skin would look covered in red bite marks and deep purple bruises.

“Ah! Fuck!” he hissed as he came into his hands. He sunk to his knees, throwing his head against the wall. “Shit…” He looked down at the mess he created.

_ If this is what only your breasts did...then what about the rest of you? _

**After** a restless night, you were right back to training. You figured it would be best to distract yourself and try to forget that anything happened.

Dressed in your brand-new, perfectly fitting uniform, you headed down to the training center with your lightsaber in hand. You could hear a few people already in there, so you mentally prepared yourself before entering the gym.

Inside, Skorr and Drax were practicing some new footwork as Sabrak polished his lightaxe in the corner. Sotay was leaning against a wall, flicking her daggers halfheartedly into one of the mannequins against the opposite wall.

“Well, well, well. Look who it is. The First Order’s whore,” Sotay taunted.

Skorr stifled a laugh.

“Ooh, hon. You’re projecting again!” you retorted, already sick of Sotay’s shit.

She flicked her another dagger into the dummy and went to go collect the ones from the floor. “You know what? Let’s go. You and me. Come on, unless of course, you’re too scared,” she said, tossing the handle of one of her daggers back and forth between her hands.

“Scared? Me? Never.” your lightsaber sparkled to life as you lunged towards Sotay.

She managed to duck the swiping blow that you had thrown by rolling away and throwing one of her daggers at you. She might be fast, but she wasn’t accurate.

The two of you twirled about the training room, sparring against each other. As Sotay persisted, you got progressively more tired. Yesterday had taken a toll on you. It would be best to end this quickly and not let Sotay get the upper hand.

You gave a final spin and shoved your forearm against Sotay’s chest, pinning her to the wall. She gasped as you pushed her harder, using your other hand to point your lightsaber dangerously close to her abdomen.

“Ready to give up?” you sneered.

Sotay banged her fist against the wall, signaling she was tapping out. You released your grip and Sotay dramatically clutched her chest.

“How dare you! You could’ve killed me!” she whined, sore about losing.

“Yeah. Could’ve. Chill out, drama queen. You’ll be fine. If not, I suggest we report back to Commander Ren that you’re too weak to continue training,” you retaliated.

She huffed and turned on her heel. Sotay marched right out the training room doors in a flurry.

“Fuckin’ bitch,” you mumbled. You clipped your lightsaber back to your belt. You gestured to the rest of the group. “What are you all staring at? Get back to work.”

The rest of the training went by, and yet, Kylo was nowhere to be seen. You asked Sabrak if he had seen him, but no one had laid eyes on him since  _ the incident. _

Another day went by.

Then another.

And another.

Then a week.

**It** was mid-morning training. Only you and Drax were in the gym. 

The sound of the doors opening drew your gaze away from each other to find Kylo Ren standing in the doorway.

“Commander! It’s good to see you again. I hope you’re doing better?” Drax said cheerfully.

There had been rumors that Kylo was off-base, or that he was sick. You had heard quite a few things from Sotay, but you weren’t quite sure which one was true.

You decided it would be best to play it safe and stick with a neutral greeting. “Good morning, Commander Ren,” you said, trying not to make eye contact. He already made you nervous, radiating power and hatred all the time, but in the aftermath of  _ the incident _ , you only felt worse.

“I need Y/N to come with me,” he replied, not acknowledging Drax’s friendly attempts at small talk.

You and Drax exchanged glances.

“Uh, sure. No problem.” Drax leaned in closer. “Good luck,” she whispered.

“Thanks…” you flashed her a weak smile.

A knot of anxiety curled in your stomach as you followed Commander Ren out into the hallway.

He immediately started walking toward the eastern wing of Starkiller.

You struggled to keep up with his long strides. “Commander? What was it you needed from me?” you asked, holding your hands behind your back.

“You’re needed for an assignment. Hux is requesting some help on the bridge, as things have recently become quite chaotic,” he said, his mask making it difficult to read the situation.

Your brow furrowed.  _ Hux? On the bridge? That was mundane work! Nothing that one of Kylo Ren’s apprentices should be doing. You were far better off simply training _ . “Can’t you make Sotay do that? It’s prosaic work,” you whined.

“Do not complain. This will aid your training.” Even through the mask, you could tell he was getting impatient.

“Really?” Sarcasm laced your words as you crossed your arms.

Kylo had snapped.

He wasn’t in a good mood to begin with, and now, you were just pressing his buttons. He stopped in his tracks, and slammed you into a wall, using his forearm to pin you against it. A small, pained gasp left your throat.

“Do not disobey my orders,” he said forcefully, pointing a gloved hand in your face.

You didn’t respond, instead, your eyes examined every detail of his mask and hand. Your heart pounded in your ears. 

He loosened his grip a little bit.

“Sorry,” you said at last.

He tightened up again, pressing you further into the wall. “You’re forgetting something.” He cocked his head in anticipation.

“Sorry, commander,” you said sarcastically.

He knew you didn’t really mean it.

Rage boiled to the surface of Kylo’s mind. 

_ She wasn’t normally this disobedient. Perhaps my grip on her mind was loosening... _

“That’s it,” he said through gritted teeth. “You’re going to learn to respect me!” He let you down from the wall, only to take a firm grip on your wrist.

“Where are we going?!” you cried.

He only picked up his pace and dug his leather-clad fingers further into your wrist. He was practically dragging you.

Kylo had a tight grip on you. As the two of you neared a door, you finally realized where he had taken you. 

You were standing outside  _ his _ quarters.  _ Commander Ren’s _ quarters.

His fingers flew across the datapad, allowing the doors to open with a hiss. He pushed you inside as the doors locked behind you.

“Um, Commander?” you asked as he shoved you in front of him. He had finally released his grip on you. 

You were met with a cold silence from the masked man. 

“What are we doing here?” 

You had never seen the inside of Kylo Ren’s quarters. They were about the same as yours, but bigger. His bed alone took up most of the back wall. A large window was behind it, gazing out into the snowy forest of the base. Everything was shiny, silky, and black. Those sheets looked heavenly…

_ I wonder what it would feel like to be wrapped in those… _

Kylo’s voice crackled from the modulator in his mask, breaking your internal conversation. “You need to be disciplined. Reconditioned-” he gestured to you- “if you must.”

You shifted on your feet. You could feel his gaze pouring over you. Everything about this situation screamed unreasonable. But some small part of you found it kind of arousing. The way he was circling around you like an animal, the way he stared at you, and the way his hands looked in those gloves. Thoughts of how his hands would feel inside of you crossed your mind.

“Y/N.” his voice interrupted your thoughts. 

“Yes?”

He grabbed your chin and tilted your head upwards. Feelings stirred within you as you stared into the mask. “Answer me when I’m talking to you.”

“Y-yes.”

“Look at you. So disrespectful. You can’t even call me Commander.”

“S-Sorry…I didn’t mean to offend you or anything, sir.”

“There it is again. Do you think you need reconditioning, Y/N?” his grip on your chin tightened.

You weren’t exactly sure what he was implying, but you were kind of excited. “Yes…?”

And with that, your fate was sealed.

Kylo released his grip on your chin and shoved you onto his bed. You expected to hit the mattress with a hard thud, but you practically sunk into it. He loomed above you, watching as you tried to sit back up. 

“Don’t.” You felt as the force pushed you further down into the bed.

Kylo removed his mask, letting it hit the floor with a heavy thud. His hair fell in soft black curls around his face as his cold eyes stared into you.

“Only move when I allow you. Only speak when I ask you a question. Understood?” his voice was deep and calming without the mask. Waves of excitement rippled through you. 

“Yes, Commander Ren.” 

“Good. You’re a quick learner. Unfortunately, the extent of your disobedience has gone beyond a simple verbal warning. I’m afraid I’m going to have to punish you.”

Your eyes widened as a jolt of shock and pleasure rippled through you. You could already feel yourself getting wet underneath your perfect uniform. “Okay…”

Your face was met with a hard slap from his glove. Tingles of pain rushed outwards. “Did I say you could speak?”

You tried to raise your hand up to touch your raw cheek, but Kylo pinned your arm down harder with another force wave. “N-no, Commander.”

“Take them off.” He gestured to your stockings and skirt. 

You obliged, as he let your arms and legs free to strip off the garments. His eyes gazed hungrily at your bare legs. “Now the jacket and shirt.”

Your fingers worked quickly to undo the metal buttons on your jacket and shirt, casting them aside. You were now sitting in only your underwear, which was quickly becoming wetter and wetter by the minute, on the Commander’s bed.

You stared up at the towering figure, still completely dressed in his normal attire. A part of you wished you weren’t the only one showing so much skin. You had never seen him in anything less than his tunic, undershirt, and workout pants for training. Even so, that completely covered him. As you gazed up at him, you could tell he was having a hard time controlling himself. The outline of his cock was becoming more and more apparent by the minute, and good lord. You were in for some serious trouble. 

As you opened your mouth to speak again, the force pinned you in place. Kylo leaned forwards, so one hand was on the bed, supporting him as he studied your face. His breath was hot and sweet on your face. He looked down at your underwear, then back at you. You were breathing incredibly heavy at this point. Every breath felt like it was too loud.

A gloved hand reached downwards. Kylo slicked a finger over your covered pussy as you shivered under his touch.

“Oh, sensitive, are we?” his murmured. 

You weren’t quite sure whether or not to respond, instead, you managed to nod excitedly.

His finger pulled aside your underwear, exposing you as he pushed you back slightly onto the bed, allowing you to use your elbows for support.

The leather of his glove was rough, and yet it was the best thing you’d ever felt.

You weren’t about to let him know this, but the only sexual things you had ever done were to yourself. Most of you was unexplored. 

His finger traced lightly up your opening and over your clit, eliciting a small moan from you.

He took his hand away to examine your liquid desire on his finger.

“All ready so wet? All for me? Fucking whore.” 

Another slap rang across your face. 

Kylo squeezed his eyes shut, trying to regain control of himself as his erection raged. You knew he could only go on like this for so long.

He opened them again, only to quickly dive his fingers back down into you. Your back arched as he dug them deeper. A loud moan escaped your throat involuntarily.

“Quiet, you don’t want the entire first order to hear, do you?” 

“No, Commander.” Your clit throbbed as he nearly touched it.

Without warning, he used his free hand to shove his thumb into your mouth, taking your chin up with his free fingers.

“Can’t risk it. You’ve been good so far, I suppose you deserve a reward.” His thumb began to circle your clit, two fingers still inside of you, as waves of pleasure rushed through your body. You moaned against his hand, trying to remain controlled. But, oh, you were losing control so very quickly. 

Luckily, you weren’t the only one struggling. His movement was becoming slightly erratic as he realized he needed to take care of himself too. In a moment of pain, pleasure, and frustration, he pulled his fingers from your pussy, leaving you aching for more. As he removed his thumb from your mouth, a small tendril of spit stuck to your lips. 

“Here,” he said, shoving his two fingers that he just been inside of you moments before into your mouth. The tangy taste of the leather mixed with the salty taste of your own juices swirled with your spit, creating a new taste. Something you had never tasted before but didn’t hate. 

You gently sucked on the gloved fingers as he palmed himself through his pants. “Good girl…” he whispered.

As he took his fingers out of your mouth, you took this as your moment to pipe up.

“Commander, I...uh…” 

“What?”

You hesitated.

“Spit it out,  _ pet. _ ”

A false sense of confidence overcame you. You needed him inside of you, now. You wanted to feel his cock violate your insides until you couldn’t walk. And you wanted him to know this.

“Commander, I need you to fuck me,” you told him sternly, your eyes gazing up at him. 

You caught him off guard. He cocked an eyebrow and looked down at you with his cold, dark eyes.

“Flip over.”

You listened. The force grip he had on you dissolved as you turned over, your ass going into the air. You heard the zipper of the Commander’s pants as he released his cock. 

You looked back at him as he ran his thumb along your slit, pushing your hips down and up with his other hand. “Holy sh- ~aah!” a moan interrupted your sentence as Kylo pushed into you, filling you up. 

For the first time, he let a deep moan ripple from his chest as he thrust into you, his gloved hands digging into your hips. With another push, he managed to hit your spot. You moaned into the silk sheets as your hand grasped at the fabric. He continued, animalistic and fast. 

He slipped out of you, only to wrap his arm around your middle and flip you over. 

He pushed himself back into you, your back arching as he methodically pounded into you. His hand snaked up your stomach to grab ahold of your breast, drawing small circles on your firm nipple. He squeezed it gently with his big hands, watching you writhe under his grasp. You bit your lip, trying to keep quiet. 

“Ah, fuck! Commander, please!” you gasped.

“Please what, pet?”

“Let me cum! I’m begging you, please!” you moaned.

“I suppose you’ve been good…”

You felt something new. Pressure from the force on your clit. You moaned as it sped up, as did Kylo. His hair was falling out of place, which gave you some sort of sense of satisfaction. The fact that you,  _ his apprentice _ , could do this to him. 

Veins of pleasure shot through your body as the Commander hit your g-spot again, sending you over the edge. Your vision went white, all your worries disappearing in the surge of pleasure. Moments later, you heard Kylo groaning heavily as you felt hot cum leak down your thighs.

As you came down from your orgasm, your chest heaving as you tried to remember how to breathe again, The Commander pulled himself together.

His hair was a complete mess, and a few beads of sweat started to run down the side of his face. 

He stared down at you, sprawled out on the black silk bed sheets, your inner thighs coated with his hot and sticky cum. 

After a moment, he drew a gloved finger up your thigh, scooping off some of his semen. A shiver rushed down your spine. 

“Here,” he said, prying your jaw open and inserting his fingers into your mouth. A lewd noise elicited itself from you as you sucked his fingers clean.

“You’ve been good, pet. I suppose you learned your lesson?”

“Yesh, Commanber Wen,” you managed to say around his fingers. He tugged his fingers out of your mouth, playing a little bit with the spit between his fingertips.

“Get yourself cleaned up. I expect you to return to training tomorrow. I'll see about assigning Drax to work with Hux."

You were slightly taken aback by his brevity. Parts of you hoped you could stay in his quarters a little while longer, but deep down, you knew it wasn’t going to happen. It would be best to just leave.

As you got up and pulled your stockings on, you noticed Kylo was nowhere to be seen. You gathered up your clothes and tried to put them back on to look somewhat presentable. You could hear the sounds of running water coming from the refresher, so you figured Kylo was in there. 

As you left his quarters, a million thoughts ran through your head. Mostly,  _ what the actual fuck just happened?! _

**You** were still reeling from last week’s events. The Commander had left you with so many conflicted feelings.

On the one hand, that was the best sex you had ever had, even if it was a bit intense. On the other hand, he was your master. You were just his apprentice. This could all mean absolutely nothing to him, and he could just be using you. 

But something inside you disagreed with these thoughts. There was something about the way he looked at you.

You shook these feelings off, as it was best not to fixate on them or else you’d spend your whole day consumed with them.

After a long day of studying in the small library that all Kylo’s apprentices had access to, you packed up your things and started to head back to your room. You had stacked a few books and papers in her arms, something to do later.

As you walked down the long, dark, hallway, you felt the hairs on the back of your neck prickle. It felt as though someone was watching you. You tried to shake the feeling and continue walking. Nevertheless, it persisted.

You quickly glanced over your shoulder, only to see the towering mass of black fabric that was Kylo Ren standing at the end of the hallway. You picked up your pace a bit, heart racing.

_ I need to get out of here. I can’t do this again. _

Echoes of last week replayed themselves over and over in your head.

“Y/N,” his voice called, cold and distant from under his mask.

You automatically stiffened and stopped in place, but didn’t turn around. The thud of his boots rang in your ears as he approached you.

You instinctively tightened, scrunching your eyes shut.

When the footsteps subsided, your eyes fluttered open again only to find Kylo standing directly in front of you.

“Commander,” you said tensely.

“I need you to accompany me on a mission,” he replied curtly.

“What is it this time?”

“I need to secure a weapons deal on Canto Bight. I figured it might be... _ fun _ -” he said this as though it pained him to even think of it- “for you if you joined me.”

You were taken aback at his offer. “Uh...I’m not sure what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything. This isn’t a choice, you know. It’s an order.” 

You sighed. “Yes, Commander.”

“Good. Now, pack your bags for three nights. We depart in the morning.” Ren turned around and marched back down the hallway.

_ Three nights...fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this one took so long! I want to get on a more consistent upload schedule, but I really struggled with the smut scene this week. Things have been a little crazy over here, so I haven't had a ton of time to write. Plus, one of my friend's newborn baby caught COVID-19 so things have been a bit tense. I'm hoping to get another two chapters out by next Sunday but if that doesn't happen then I'd at least like to get one out. I'm so glad y'all enjoyed chapter one! I'm really excited to continue this story! :D


	3. Travel Buddies Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take a trip with Commander Ren...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for this one taking so long, I didn't have my computer working for a solid two weeks. shoutout to my mom for helping me edit this one a bit lmao

**You** stood timidly in the doorway to your quarters, packed bag in hand. A stormtrooper was supposed to come to get you and take you to the command shuttle for departure. Unfortunately, your nerves made it impossible to do anything besides repeatedly drum your fingers on the handle of your bag. 

Spending three nights alone with Commander Ren wasn’t exactly something new to you, but in light of your recent encounters with him, you had no idea what to expect. Honestly, you would’ve preferred for him to be flat-out angry about what the two of you did versus his weird silence. At this point, you just wanted everything to get back to normal. 

“The Commander is ready to depart.” A voice interrupted your thoughts. A stormtrooper stood in the hall, gesturing for you to follow them. 

“Oh. Alright, let me just grab my shoes.” You tugged your boots on and proceeded to follow the stormtrooper through the winding halls of Starkiller. 

“So...are you in trouble or something?” the stormtrooper asked as they slowed their pace a bit to match yours.

“Excuse me?”   


“It’s just, I know Commander Ren doesn’t usually take people on his missions. So what makes you so special?”   


“You don’t know anything about him. Or me, for that matter.”

“I mean, I have been working here for a few years. I have a feeling I might know his flight habits pretty well.” 

You scoffed.  _ Who did they think they were?  _ “You’re wrong.” You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration. “Also, who told you, you could speak to me? Do I need to contact Captain Phasma and tell her you need reconditioning?”

_ Reconditioning… _

A million memories flashed through your mind. 

“Sorry, I was just trying to make conversation!” the stormtrooper advocated, throwing up their arms in a shrug. 

You shook your head. 

As the two of you approached the docking bay, you managed to catch a glimpse of the stormtrooper’s id number.

_ JY-3854… what a know it all.  _ You made a mental note to tell Phasma about their disorderly conduct when you saw her next. 

**The** command shuttle was sitting in the bay, a small crew assembled outside of it. You assumed Commander Ren was already in the ship, considering you didn’t see him with the others. A pilot, co-pilot, and three stormtroopers stood at attention as you approached the ramp. 

“Y/N.” One of the stormtroopers greeted as he held out his hand to take your bag. You handed it to him, nodding in acknowledgment. You looked back at the docking bay and noticed JY-3854 was nowhere to be seen. 

_ What the-? _ When did he leave your side?

Your attention was drawn away from the docking bay as you stepped aboard the command shuttle, the familiar exterior melting away your worries. 

You had always loved the command shuttle, with it’s beautiful, sleek, elegant design. It’s bat-like exterior and powerful canons. You loved how the galaxy looked from inside the red-stained windows. Everything about it screamed “home”. You used to go for missions with the other apprentices when you were younger. Something about the ship induced a sense of comfort and belonging deep inside you. A feeling that not even the anxiety around Commander Ren could overcome. 

Speaking of, Commander Ren was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t in the front seat like you had originally suspected he would be.

You tapped the shoulder of the man who had sat in the pilot’s seat. “Excuse me, Captain-?” 

“Hysio.” The pilot turned to face you.

“Captain Hysio. Do you happen to know where Commander Ren is?”

Hysio absent-mindedly scratched his chin. “I believe he had a few things to pick up before he joined us on board.”

“Oh. Alright. Thank you.” You sat back in one of the passenger chairs against the wall, crossing one of your legs over the other. You picked at one of your nails as your thoughts began to wander.

_ Where’s Commander Ren? Shouldn’t he be here already? What could he possibly have to pick up? _

A thud caused you to look up from the floor. Commander Ren had stepped aboard and sat directly across from you, the face of his mask staring into your soul.

You squirmed a little as his gaze bore into you. 

The floor of the Command Shuttle shook as it took off, the quiet rumble of the engines filling your ears and taking over your mind.

_ Okay...it’s only three nights. No big deal. Everything is gonna be fine.  _

You turned towards the front windows, watching as the ship jumped to lightspeed. You leaned your head against the seat and took a deep breath. The rest of the world melted away as your eyelids grew heavy. You never were any good at staying awake on flights. Plus, Cantonica was quite far and there weren’t many ways to pass the time other than sleeping. 

**Ren** had turned his gaze to the command dashboard while you drifted to sleep. He turned his head slowly and leaned back in his seat in an appraising stance. He removed his mask and shook his long hair out, running a distracted hand through the lock that fell over his forehead. He leaned forward and placed the helmet on the floor. 

The pilot, Hysio, stood up. “She’s in auto-pilot, Commander.” 

Ren nodded and dismissed him with a wave of his hand. He looked back at you and leaned forward in his seat, chin resting on his palm. The hard, wary look left his face slowly and as he stared at you. Then, briefly, like the last rays of sun before it drops behind the mountains, the smallest curve lifted the right corner of his bottom lip.

**You** were awoken suddenly by the sound of the Command Shuttle’s engines shutting down. Looking around, you noticed that you had landed in some sort of spaceport. 

Commander Ren got up from his seat. “We’re here. Get your things.” The mask was back on.

You nodded and grabbed your bag that was tucked under your seat. Ren stormed down the metal ramp, almost in a rush, with you at his heels. A platoon of stormtroopers was awaiting your arrival. Ren stopped in front of their leader, a stormtrooper with a red piece of armor on their left shoulder.

“Is it ready?” Commander Ren asked.

“Yes, commander,” the stormtrooper replied hesitantly.

“Excellent. Have two of your men escort my apprentice to the room.” Ren gestured for you to step forward. The stormtrooper captain pointed at two of the men in the front, each one taking their place by your side. Ren turned his attention away from you and back to the platoon captain. “You and I have a few things to discuss.” 

Before you could ask Ren what exactly was happening, one of the stormtroopers spoke. “Come along now.” You weren’t exactly about to fight him, but you didn’t really want to leave Ren. 

The stormtroopers guided you away from him and the command shuttle, leaving the spaceport - _ and Commander Ren _ \- behind. 

The three of you stepped out onto a busy street. Ornate lanterns illuminated the street in a soft glow. Everything was some shade of gold or grey, and buildings all had a smooth but baroque look to them. All sorts of lifeforms bustled about, dressed in elaborate, formal black and white ensembles. A few of them had drinks or food in their hands, all of which smelled amazing. It was beautiful. You were so used to the cold, sleek, unforgiving design of Starkiller base. Canto Bight seemed like a fever dream in comparison. A small part of you hated it, though. Everything was all over the place. The first order had conditioned you to seek out organization and strict regulation. Here, everything was just so... _ relaxed _ . It stirred conflicted feelings of uneasiness within you.

The stormtroopers led you down the main road as different shuttles rushed by. 

You began to feel a knot of anxiety form deep inside you. “Is it much further?” you asked. No one responded.

As you approached the main casino, a droid shuffled you and the stormtroopers.

“Greetings! I am LX-714, I welcome you to the Canto Bight Casino! How may I assist you today?”

You opened your mouth to speak, but one of the troopers put his hand up as a signal for you to stop. “We need a small transport shuttle to the First Order’s Quarters,” he said for you.

“Of course! We shall have that for you right away, sir,” the droid replied happily. He directed you three toward a small covered transport on a track that cut through the casino. You lagged behind a little bit, which caused the stormtrooper on your left to shove you aboard. 

“Hey!” you exclaimed. “Watch it.”

Your words were met with silence from both troopers, neither even bothering to look at you. 

_ Bastards. They wouldn’t have laid a hand on me if Commander Ren was still here. _

**The** transport shuttle careened to a halt in front of a rather impressive set of white metal doors. The stormtroopers shuffled you off the transport and one of them punched in a code on the datapad to the left that caused the doors to open with a whirr.

A soft, muted gold light emitted from the door as it opened. The Stormtrooper to your left held the door open and motioned you in. You entered into a large open room. Descending steps led to a sunken living room area surrounded by floor to ceiling windows that wrapped the room. The white stone floor could have felt cold as your boots click across it but the gold tones in the light of the setting sun made them glow with rose gold light. It was lovely. You immediately felt at ease. 

A large golden bed covered in a fluffy white duvet took up most of the window-facing wall. A large black box with a red satin ribbon was perched on the white ottoman at the end of the bed. 

As you were about to grab it, you heard the door close. The stormtroopers had left. 

With a sigh of relief, you picked up the box and fell back onto the bed, holding it tightly in your arms. Everything here just felt so...comforting. Nothing like the chill of Starkiller.

_ What could possibly be in here? _ You asked yourself, gently shaking the box. No clues were revealed to what it could be. You flipped over so you were laying on your stomach, and set the black box in front of you. Delicately, you removed the ribbon and the lid, revealing a thin layer of tissue paper covering some sort of dark item. Gently, you picked it up.

Black fabric seemingly spilled out of the package, with thin golden chains accenting parts of it. 

Eyes widening, you picked it up off the bed and nearly ran over to the mirror. You held it up to yourself, running a hand over the soft fabric. Gold chains fell from your shoulders, hips, and torso

As you turned back to the bed, you noticed something on the floor. A small card had fallen out of the box when you picked up the dress. On it, in beautiful, delicate handwriting were the words:

20:00, Blue Wall Bar. Wear this.

-Ren 

_ Oh. So that’s why this is here. _

A myriad of feelings ran through your head. Part of you didn’t exactly want to go and wanted to spend as much of this trip away from Commander Ren as possible, but every other part of you wanted to go spend the night out on the town with him. That is if he was even going to be there. He likely didn’t care and was just giving you something to do.  _ Although _ , he had handwritten that note, so maybe some small part of him did care. 

_ Agh...this is getting to be too much...  _ you thought to yourself as you collapsed back down in the soft bedding, holding the dress close to yourself. 

**8’o clock** had arrived, and not nearly soon enough. You had spent a few hours showering and doing makeup. The dress Commander Ren left for you fit perfectly, the gold chains draped dramatically over your shoulders and back. 

You arrived at the Blue Wall. Per usual, Commander Ren wasn’t anywhere to be seen. A few patrons leaned against the bar, sipping drinks and chatting.

You nervously shifted your weight from heel to heel, searching for someone you knew. Anyone. 

As you turned towards the bar, a voice stopped you.

“Y/N. You came.”

_ Kylo. _

You whirled around to find him standing in front of you, dressed in an elaborate black high-collar robe with red silk detailing. Two tendrils of dark scarlet fabric dripped off his shoulders, his arms, wrapped in a similar folded fabric to his normal attire, stuck out from the rest of the ensemble. Kylo, being the dramatic man he was, had the bottom half of the robe cut so it would flow out behind him when he walked. 

He looked stunning. You had never seen him wear anything like this before.

“You look lovely,” he said after a moment.

“As do you, Commander.” You smiled up at him, hoping he would smile back. He didn’t, of course, but the corner of his mouth twitched. A spark of hope ignited in your chest. 

He offered his forearm out to you, and you happily looped your own arm around his. Together, the two of you approached the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got big plans for this fic, so stay tuned! I'm gonna try and get on a consistent upload schedule. (I know I said that last time but I really mean it) Thank you again for making it this far, it means a lot to me that you even clicked on my fic. oh hey also: shameless plug here, follow my Tumblr @king_janthony for more updates/behind the scenes things or just general star wars things :)


	4. Travel Buddies Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vacation time with the Commander continues as tensions run high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize for the wait but I finally finished another chapter. I hope it was worth the wait!

“What’ll it be?” The bartender asked you and Ren.

“Two glasses of Corellian wine,” Ren responded.

The bartender turned around and poured two glasses of a deep purple wine. You watched the iridescent liquid swirl and shimmer in the light.

Ren took both your glasses and started to walk away from the bar, the fabric of his robe gliding gracefully over the floor.

Confused, you followed him. “Uh, Commander? Can I have my drink?” you asked.

“Not yet. We have somewhere we need to be right now.”

His response didn’t clear up any of the existing questions you had. If anything, it just raised more.

You followed Ren out of the bar and down a small side street. Little glowing string lights zig-zagged across the arched ceilings between the buildings. The end of the path opened up to another street, this one overlooking Canto Bight’s beach.

Ren stopped in front of the stone wall and turned to face you. “Here.” He handed you your glass.

You took it and lightly sipped the wine. It was bitter but surprisingly good. You didn’t have many alcoholic drinks on Starkiller. It was a wonder Ren had even let you have one at all, what with the relatively strict diet you and the other apprentices were on.

Ren leaned against the wall, carefully watching you. “You’re probably wondering where we’re headed, aren’t you?” he asked after a moment.

You nodded silently.

“I need to secure a high-profile business deal for the First Order. Normally I would’ve sent someone from the weaponry department, but the client insisted they deal with me directly. General Hux will also be escorting us on this little...escapade,” he explained. He took a sip of wine.

“So, then why’d you bring me?”

The two of you locked eyes.

You practically melted under his gaze.

“Time off, I suppose.”

Ren turned away from you and started to walk down the street.

Annoyed by his curtness, you sighed and followed him. _Dramatic bastard_ … you thought to yourself.

You and Ren walked along the wall until he stopped in front of a yellow-gold glass door. He punched in a code on the panel to the left of the door, looking back over his shoulder at you as the door hissed open.

Inside, the room opened up into a large atrium with a decadent banquet table in the middle. Guests dressed in ornate black and white formal attire milled about the room as servers passed out drinks from small trays. A wave of chatter swept throughout the air as guests began to notice you and Ren.

Out of nowhere, Ren took your hand firmly in his and began to walk towards the head of the banquet table.

As you passed by the guests you recognized a few of them. General Hux was more formal than you’d ever seen him, in a white and red uniform and sweeping cape. He gave you a small nod as you passed him. Colonel Datoo, Lieutenant Rodinon, and Lieutenant Mitaka were also present. Other First Order officers were also present, but you didn’t recognize them. You assumed they were part of the weapons department.

“Ah, Commander Ren. Nice of you to join us at last,” a man with slicked-back grey hair said as you and Ren approached the two seats at the top of the table.

“Val Sund. Pleasure, as usual.” Ren offered out his hand for Val to shake, which resulted in the tensest handshake you’d ever seen.

Val eyed you hungrily gestured. “Who’s this pretty little sidepiece you’ve brought with you tonight, Commander?”

Ren turned to look at you. “My apprentice, Mr. Sund. I would appreciate it if you did not speak of her that way.”

Confusion crossed Val’s face. “I didn’t know you had an apprentice...how interesting…”

You took a sip of wine as an excuse not to say anything. Luckily for you, the room had become lively again and people were wandering around again. “I’m going to speak with Hux now if that’s okay,” you told Ren. He silently nodded as Val Sund put an arm around Ren’s shoulders and turned him away from you.

As you left to search for Hux, Ren looked over his shoulder again and watched you disappear into the crowd. _I hope she stays out of trouble…_ He thought to himself as Val began spouting a myriad of business ideas at him.

**General** Hux was speaking to another guest when you approached him.

“As I have stated before, Starkiller will soon be operational. We’re implementing the highest security as to avoid any...unwanted guests,” he rambled.

You gently tapped his shoulder. He whirled around, not expecting you to be standing right behind him. “Ah! Y/N! Have you met Mr. Syko?” Hux said, indicating to the creature he was talking to.

Mr. Syko let out a low growl, what you assumed was a greeting of some sort.

“Mr. Syko! A pleasure…” you said, giving a small bow.

Syko growled again.

Hux noted the confusion on your face and leaned over to you. “He’s wondering who you are.”

“Oh, right. I’m Y/N, Commander Ren’s apprentice!” you beamed.

Syko laughed.

You looked back at Hux for help. He shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure what he means, but he thinks you’re funny. He says Kylo Ren doesn’t have apprentices and that you’re telling a joke.”

A weak and apathetic smile flashed across your face. “Heh...well, funny story…”

Hux stopped you. “Don’t. There’s no use in trying to defend yourself. He won’t buy it.” Hux turned to Syko. “Well, it’s been a wonderful conversation as always Mr. Syko, but I’m afraid I have other matters to attend to. I look forward to getting your confirmation on those ion canons we ordered.”

Syko grunted at Hux and slunk back into the crowd.

General Hux looked back at you awkwardly sipping your drink and trying not to make any offensive eye contact with anyone. “In over your head, Y/N?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. A bit. Ren has never brought me to anything like this before,” you admitted.

“Yes, they can be a tad overwhelming. I still remember my first gala on Canto Bight. Quite the ordeal. I slept for nearly two days afterward, I was so tired,” Hux chuckled to himself. You rarely saw him smile, so it was refreshing to hear him laugh. It filled you with a weird, warm feeling you weren’t quite used to.

Across the atrium, a band started to play.

A few guests started swaying to the beat, and Hux looked over at you. He glanced over your expressions. “Care for a dance?” he asked after a moment, offering his hand out to you.

“Oh, General, I don’t really-”

“C’mon, Y/N. Have a little fun.”

You considered his offer, his crystalline eyes studying you thoughtfully.

You took his hand. “Fine, but I must warn you, I can’t really dance…” you laughed.

General Hux twirled you around as the music surged.

You swayed gently together, your body pressed against his. Your heartbeat pounded against your chest as he gently danced with you. You had never really danced before, but Hux made it so easy. Other guests had noticed you and the general, and a few of them joined in. A small dance floor was created. The way his cape furled around you when the two of you twirled comforted you beyond belief. Commander Ren would never have done this.

Hux noticed how tense you were, and moved his hand further down to the small of your back. You relaxed under his hands as your desperate grip on his hand and shoulder tightened. With each twirl, sway, and step you noticed both of you were breathing heavier. Slick sweat stuck to your skin as you danced, trying to appear as though you weren't panicking about how you kept messing up the steps. Sickly sweet heat radiated between you and the general, locking you into his stride. Your torsos nearly touched, only the whisper of his body on yours. The general towered over you, his icy eyes watching you.

Hux was a good dancer, surprisingly. His strong hands guided you graceful over the floor, the fabric of your gown flowing with each move. The gentle lead was wonderful considering you never had danced with anyone like this before.

The General guided you across the floor as if you were in a dream. He kept his gaze locked on you, yet he still knew exactly where to take you. Every moment, every angle seemed to be planned in advance. This wasn't unusual for Hux, as he was a very cold and calculated man. Although tonight, the chill had faded.

“General,” You whispered, “Everyone is looking at us.”

He squeezed your hand slightly and smiled. “Really,” he chuckled softly, “I hadn't noticed.”

That was when you decided to let go. Let your anxiety, your pain, and underlying sorrow go. Right here, right now, you were living as you had never lived before. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore; you allowed him to take you anywhere he pleased on this dance floor. He went right, you went right. He sped up, you sped up.

You two became one with the song, with the dance and with each other. You continued like this until you had to separate, though a small wave of sadness overcame you as you pulled away from the heat of his body. When the song ended the other guest's applause filled your ears. You couldn’t help but smile at him. The General gave you a smile in return, and your heart beamed.

**“A** new shipment of ion canons has been authorized, but we also need your confirmation on this new prototype of blaster,” Val Sund told Commander Ren.

“Yes, I’ll have Phasma’s top division test them as soon as you send them,” Ren replied.

“Excellent! Now, about BL-155 axes…” Sund’s words drifted off in Kylo’s mind. He wasn’t really listening to Val anymore. The galas were always so boring. Kylo hated attending them. Everyone would talk his ear off for hours and he’d barely get any time to simply enjoy Canto Bight. Not like he wanted to, exactly. Whenever he had a moment to himself he spent it holed up in his room, pretending the rest of the galaxy didn’t exist.

As Sund droned on about various new sniper rifle technologies, Kylo nodded absentmindedly. As he was about to tune back into what Sund was saying, a flash of gold and white caught Kylo’s eye.

Across the atrium, a group of people had started dancing. And in the center of them all, you. Smiling gleefully as General Hux spun you around.

Something new sparked inside of Kylo. _Jealousy._ He was jealous of how Hux so effortlessly made you laugh and smile, how he held you.

Kylo wanted that.

His eye twitched as he took a deep breath.

_How dare he? How dare he take you away from me?!_

Anger surged through Kylo’s system.

_General Hux was taking my apprentice and what, dancing with her? And she actually looks like she’s having a good time?! What if he’s trying to steal her away from me...or manipulate her someone to launch a coup...I should kill that bastard now before he gets his claws in her!_

Kylo’s thoughts spiraled out of control, as they often did. He reached for the hilt of his lightsaber, only to stop himself.

_No. I can’t do that, that would ruin the rest of this evening and potential our deals we’re here to secure. I need to calm down...it’s nothing. They’re just two friends dancing together. I’ll have to have a strong word with Hux later but for now, I’ll step back._

He watched as Hux spun and dipped you for a final time, your chests heaving from the effort. The music concluded and applause erupted. But Kylo didn’t applaud. He was too focused on you.

_The way she smiled at herself, proud of not messing up. The way her dress moved when she danced. The way you looked at Hux… wait, what?_

He saw your momentary sadness after you had pulled away from him. A deep heavy feeling washed over Kylo.

_No...it can’t be. She’s supposed to be mine! I...I need her. Maybe I’m in...no. I can’t say that. I’m not. Snoke would kill me and her if he knew. For her sake, I won’t say anything. But General Hux cannot have her. She’s mine_.

“So anyways, for the FWMB-10s, I suppose our going rate is currently 400 credits a piece? Since you’re buying bulk, we could give you a 30% discount. Commander Ren? Are you even listening?” Val Sund rattled.

Ren snapped back into real life. He looked at Sund, then back at you and Hux. “Apologies, Sund. I’ll be right back.

**Hux** gave you a small bow, and you returned with a polite little curtsy.

“I must say, you’re a good dancer for someone who had never danced before,” Hux complimented.

“I was only following your lead, general!”

No sooner had you and the General parted ways, Ren came storming up to you. He was definitely angry, but you couldn’t tell why. A few strands of his hair were out of place.

“Where’s General Hux?” he asked, trying to keep his rage contained.

“I saw him head outside for a moment...why?”

“None of your concern.” Ren quickly headed out the same door Hux had a few seconds prior.

_Jeez, what’s his problem?_

At that moment, you realized you were alone. No Hux, no Ren. What to do now? Only the logical thing. Follow Hux and Ren like a lost puppy. Because in a way, you were a lost puppy.

You elbowed your way through the crowd and out one of the side doors. It led into a small alleyway, similar to the one you and Ren had walked through together. You could hear voices around the corner, so you quietly pressed your back against the wall and listened.

“I told you, stay away!”

“You don’t own her, Ren!”

“She’s _my_ apprentice, is she not?”

“That doesn’t give you an excuse to treat her like a doll!”

“So? It doesn’t’ mean you can go in and steal her from me! She’s mine, Hux!”

“Yours? _Yours?_ Is this just an excuse to get some sick power fix?”

“What?! You’re projecting again. If anyone here has a power fix it’s you.”

_They sound like fucking children!_

You stepped out from your hiding place behind the wall.

Ren and Hux were both startled at your sudden appearance.

“Y/N?” Ren said quietly.

“What the fuck is happening?! The two of you sound like padawans! What is wrong with you?” You yelled in a fury.

Hux opened his mouth to speak, but you started yelling again.

“Commander Ren, I am not in love with General Hux. I don’t know how far your mind had to spiral to come to that conclusion, but it’s wrong. That dance was strictly platonic, I was just having a good time for once in my life. And General Hux? I appreciate you trying to defend me, but Commander Ren does not own me. I am my own person, despite what it may look like. Keep your noses out of each other’s business. I am not your marriage counselor.” And with that, you turned around and left Ren and Hux standing in the street, dumbfounded at your newfound voice.

You made your way back to the banquet hall as people started sitting down for dinner. Hux and Ren had made their way to the table, looking butthurt. Ren offered you a seat next to him at the head of the table, which you took, to his surprise. Val Sund sat next to Ren and started discussing the transport of weapons to Starkiller.

You tuned them out. Instead, you focusing on the beautiful feast that was being brought out to the guests. Hundreds of different dishes were placed all down the banquet table.

Before you started to fill your plate, Val Sund tapped his knife against his glass and stood up. “My dear friends, and of course, potential enemies,” he said with a smile. “I propose a toast. Commander of the First Order, Kylo Ren, has graced us with his presence today. Care to say something, Commander?”

Ren stood up and raised his glass. “‘I’m never any good at these types of things, so I suppose I’ll keep it short. Cheers,” -everyone raised their glasses- “to the glory of the First Order. And to my up and coming apprentice, Y/N.”

You looked up at Ren, eyes wide.

He had never given you any sort of public acknowledgment like this before. Ren sat back down as the room dissolved into thunderous applause. He looked over at you, and you could _swear_ he almost smiled.

Val Sund retook control of the room. “And with that, let’s eat!”

The guests began piling their plates full of food, which caused you to reach for some of the fruits on the plate nearest to you.

Ren helped serve you some sort of meat dish and a salad since you couldn’t reach it. When you went to thank him, he kept his gaze forward, but one of his hands extended out to you. He gently placed it on your thigh, lightly gripping it.

The feelings inside of you surged as you tried to remain calm.

You looked around and noticed everyone had dug into the food. You took this as your cue to begin eating.

It was incredibly delicious. You had never tasted anything so amazing in your life. The freshness of the salad, the sweetness of the fruits, the smokiness of the meat, all of it was heaven to you.

Ren’s hand left you thigh, and a twinge of sadness struck your heart. You could still feel his warm touch on you, and you wanted it back. Desperately.

As you nibbled on some of your salad, you looked next to you at Ren. You hadn’t seen him eat much before, but this was something else.

The man was ravenously shoveling meat into his mouth, a small line of juices dribbled down his chin.

You couldn’t help but smile.

**As** dinner concluded, Sund took out a few contracts for Ren and Hux to sign. You patiently waited for them to conclude before approaching Ren.

“So, what next, Commander?” you asked him, hands tucked behind your back.

“I have no further plans this evening, so I suppose it’s up to you.”

“Well, I’m kinda tired. Maybe I could just head back to my room?”

“Our room.”

“Wait, what?”

“Our room. That’s my personal suite here on Canto Bight. I hope you don’t mind, but I felt as though you’d be more comfortable there. Unfortunately, I will also have to sleep there.”

Your mind lit up. Everything inside of you practically glowed from all the happiness. You fought back a smile and tried to appear as uninterested in what Ren had just told you as possible. “Yeah, that would be fine. I don’t uh...I don’t mind.”

“Good. Shall we?” he offered you his arm, which you graciously took.

The two of you left out the same door you came in through, the warm air of Canto Bight hitting your face as the door hissed open.

You and Ren walked along the wall by the sea in comfortable silence.

You hadn’t lied, you really were tired.

Something brushed against your fingertips.

_Ren’s hand…_

In an impulsive move, you grabbed his hand and interlaced your fingers together. His hand was so much bigger than yours, it was astounding.

Unbeknownst to you, a small smile crept across the Kylo’s face. It wasn’t there for long, but it was there.

**When** you finally got back to your room, you practically collapsed on the bed. It’s soft embrace welcoming you yet again.

“Care for a shower?” Ren asked you, his large frame towering over you as you laid on your back.

You sat up, considering his offer. _Does he mean with him?!_ “Um, yeah. That sounds good…”

“I can start it up for you.”

“That’d be great, thank you!” you said with a smile.

Ren walked into the refresher and moments later you heard running water. He stepped back out, drying his hand on his robe. “It’s ready for you.”

“Oh! Thank you! That was fast,” you laughed, swinging your legs off the bed. Ren didn’t respond. Instead, he went and stood in front of the large windows near the end of the bed.

You ducked inside the refresher and quietly closed the door behind you.

With the wall between you and Ren, you relaxed.

You took off your makeup and slipped out of your dress and underwear, leaving them in a pile on the floor.

The hot water ran over your body, soothing your muscles. Steam filled the refresher, covering the glass of the shower and the mirror. Commander Ren, being the extravagant fuck that he is, had a multitude of different smelling soaps and hair products. You tried a few, finally settling on a fruity shampoo and conditioner.

As you ran your hands through your hair, different thoughts began to cross your mind. Mostly, memories of Ren from a few weeks ago. It seemed like so long since he’d touched you like that…

Memories of his cock pounding into you hit you like a wave as you snuck your hand down in between your legs. The water poured over you as you started to touch your clit.

_Good girl…_ His words echoed through your mind.

You dipped a finger inside of yourself, feeling unsatisfied that it wasn’t his hand. He had such large fingers, yours were nothing in comparison. A moan escaped your lips as you sped up, the need for Ren to fuck you senseless increasing.

**Ren** stood outside the refresher, his ear pressed to the door.

He wasn’t exactly spying, per se, but as soon as he overheard that first moan from inside the refresher, he couldn’t help but listen.

He imagined you fucking yourself for him, fingers diving deep into your pussy to the memory of him.

_Shit…_

He was hard. And he didn’t exactly want to jack off right here, pressed against the door like some sort of pervert.

He needed a plan...and fast.

**You** stepped out of the refresher, wrapped in a fluffy towel. Ren was still standing by the window, just as you left him.

“Had a good shower, Y/N?” he asked you as you walked over to your bags by the foot of the bed. His tone told you that he knew, but you weren’t going to say anything on the off chance he had no idea you’d been fucking yourself to memories of him just moments prior.

“Uh, yes. I did, Commander.”

“Excellent. Let’s hope you left some hot water for me.”

“Heh, well, I don’t know. Maybe!” you laughed.

You watched as Ren shut the refresher door behind him. You noticed he didn’t close it all the way, though. A sliver of the door was still open.

You heard the rush of the water again. Trying to distract yourself from focusing on the fact that Commander Ren was literally taking a shower on the other side of the wall, you rooted through your bag and gathered up a sweatshirt, underwear, and shorts for pajamas. You dropped the towel and slipped into your fresh clothes.

Curiosity rippled through your mind as that small crack in the doorway to the refresher beckoned you forward. You knew you shouldn’t look, that was a major invasion of privacy. But then again…

From your position pressed against the wall, you couldn’t see much. The first thing that caught your eye was the pile of clothes on the floor. Such a shame that he just dumped those beautiful robes on the ground, but you had done the exact same thing so you couldn’t really blame him.

Your eyes traveled to the glass shower door. You could just barely see Commander Ren, as the steam from the hot water was quickly obscuring your view. Your heart skipped a beat as you watched him running his hands through his hair, the water cascading down his broad shoulders. You could see his strong muscles move in his back and arms as he washed off the day’s exhaustion. He moved so gracefully, even when he was alone.

As he finished washing his hair, you noticed he started doing something else.

You gasped and pulled away from your viewing spot near the door.

You clasped a hand over your mouth, praying that he didn’t hear you. What you were doing was a major invasion of privacy. And yet, you delicately went back to watching Ren.

He worked quickly and forcefully.

_Holy shit, his hand goes out so far..._

A quiet moan escaped his lips and a shudder went down your spine.

_I wonder if he’s thinking about me._ Your muscles tightened at the very thought.

Ren’s hand slowed a bit, and then you saw it. His body shuddered as you watched his cum fall into the drain.

At that moment, you felt a familiar pressure build in your head. It was light and barely noticeable, but you knew exactly what it was.

Ren was reading your mind.

He whirled around, small droplets of water flinging themselves out of his hair.

You jumped back from the door, hoping your reflexes were good enough and he didn’t see you. You heard the water shut off and the glass door open.

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_

You dived onto the bed and picked up your datapad, trying to look like you’d been there the whole time. Unfortunately, you were breathing heavily.

The refresher door opened with a hiss, steam billowing out around Ren.

To your secret dismay, he was wearing his signature pair of black pants. No shirt though, which was nice. Your eyes hungrily glanced over his beautiful, pale skin. He noticed you watching him, and you quickly glanced back to your datapad.

Ren walked towards the windows and stared out at the city. After a moment, he glanced over his shoulder at you. You instinctively stiffened up as he gazed at you. The air was filled with tension.

“I know how you think of me, Y/N.” His voice was cold.

A shiver shot down your spine. “Um…”

Ren turned around. “Don’t think I didn’t see you earlier.”

Your face burned as you were violently reminded of how you had watched him jack off in the shower.

He approached you slowly, each move calculated and precise. Your heart pounded and your eyes widened as he delicately ran a finger down your jawline, his thumb and pointer finger tilting your chin upwards. You locked eyes with him. Unreadable thoughts and expressions floated through his dark eyes.

“Let’s get something straight. You are nothing.”

Your brow furrowed. “What?”

“You are nothing. You are an easily replaceable apprentice. Just because I brought you here does not mean I couldn’t have just as easily brought another one of my apprentices in your place.”

Every thought in your mind protested his words, but you didn’t dare speak up.

“Just because you’re in the spotlight for five minutes doesn’t mean you’re something special.” His grip on your chin released as your heart sank.

Ren turned back to the window. “Get some sleep now. We have meetings tomorrow.” With a wave of his hand, the lights dimmed until they were off.

“Ren?” you asked timidly, shuffling under the covers.

“Yes?”

“Where are you sleeping?” It was bold of you to assume he was even going to sleep. But alas, there was only one bed in the suite and you weren’t sure if he was going to share with you.

“Don’t worry about it,” he replied coldly.

“Oh, okay. Goodnight, Commander.”

Per usual, your words were met with silence.

As you drifted to sleep, a heavy feeling settled upon you.

Ren’s words echoed in your head.

_You are nothing...easily replaceable...Just because you’re in the spotlight for five minutes doesn’t mean you’re something special._

The spiral of self-doubt and sadness set in. _Maybe he was right...Maybe I really am nothing._

But a small voice of hope popped up in the back of your head. _What about his conversation with Hux? And his toast he made? You have to be more than nothing. There’s no way he just absolutely doesn’t care about you. And as far as you know, he didn’t fuck any of his other apprentices. Maybe he’s just pushing you away because he’s afraid of attachments… The welcoming void of sleep washed over you as your anxieties melted away and the comforting touch of the blankets took you away._

**Ren’s** hand was lightly shaking as he gently waved it over you. You looked so cute in your sleep, light breaths delicately blowing your hair out of your face, your hands curled tightly around the sheets. Ren closed his eyes as your thoughts flooded his mind.

_“Maybe he was right...Maybe I really am nothing.”_

_Good, the seeds of doubt have been planted in her mind. Maybe she’ll hate me now. Yes, that’d be good. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about all these...feelings._

_“There’s no way he just absolutely doesn’t care about you. And as far as you know, he doesn’t fuck any of his other apprentices. Maybe he’s just pushing you away because he’s afraid of attachments…”_

_Shit._ Kylo’s eyes widened. _She’s absolutely correct._

He pulled his hand away, your thoughts drifting back into your own head.

A million thoughts encapsulated Kylo. Out of the storm, he knew one thing was clear. He had feelings for you, but Snoke would never allow it. His only hope would be to shut down and pull away, no matter how much it would hurt. He hadn’t felt like this about anyone, ever. All he could do now was hide it. From you, from Snoke, from himself, and anyone else.

Kylo stayed up for a little longer, pacing the room. Partly because he was too anxious to sleep and party because you had taken up most of the bed and he didn’t want to move you.

After another fidgety hour or two of pacing, he finally decided to try and sleep. Kylo gently pushed you back to your side, trying his very hardest not to wake you up. As soon as he moved you, he slid under the covers and curled up, his back turned away from you.

Sleep came quicker to him than he anticipated. As he drifted off, all he could think of was you.

**A** strong arm grabbed you, jolting you awake.

In a sleep ridden haze, you looked over at Ren.

His dark hair was falling into his face in perfect little strands that moved slightly when he breathed. He looked so peaceful, all the anger, conflict and sadness were gone from his face.

Your heart fluttered as you made the choice to flip over and curl up next to him, your arms wrapping around his neck and your legs entwining with his. You pressed your head to his chest, carefully listening to his soothing heartbeat. As you snuggled closer, you felt his comforting grip around you tighten. One of his hands gently rested on the back of your head while the other rested on your lower back.

He shifted in his sleep, pressing you closer.

A smile crossed your lips.

_Maybe he does like me after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the conflict within Kylo, he's such a tough character to write. Things are gonna heat up again next chapter! Also, in this upcoming chapter I have the opportunity to write in some Reader/Hux, would y'all like that? There's also a storyline I had in mind where Hux is definitely a lot more horrible to Y/N but I felt kinda bad about what would happen. It could go either way so let me know in the comments if Y/N should pursue some sorta thing with him or if he should be more of a villian...it'd help me to know what you guys wanna see!


	5. Conflict Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meetings are so boring. What if we were to spice that up a bit, hmm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the short hiatus, but I'm back! Hope y'all are still invested haha

**The** sunlight beams streamed in through the window, casting warm rays right onto your face. You blinked a few times, clearing the sleep from your eyes. You shifted to sit up and stretch, but when you looked down the reality of your situation set in.

Commander Ren was still asleep. His raven black hair was sprawled out over the pillows, a pouty expression crossing his face. One of his legs was hanging off the bed at an awkward angle while his left arm slipped under a pillow. The other arm was tucked across his stomach, gently rising up and down with each breath.

_ God, he looks so beautiful. _

You smiled and stretched your arms. You decided to let Ren sleep in a little bit more. 

Before you left the bed, leaned down to give Ren a secret little kiss on the cheek. As you went in Ren shifted towards you, and your lips accidentally collided with his. 

Ren’s eyes fluttered open to find you sitting above him, eyes wide, with only the memory of your kiss still on his lips.

In a moment of shock, you pulled back, your face burning a bright red. 

Wide-eyed, Ren studied your face with those gorgeous dark eyes of his. 

As you opened your mouth to say something, he sat up and grabbed your face with his hands. He looked at you again. Before you could even react, he kissed you. Hard. 

Your body stiffened up at first, not expecting this, but after a second you melted into it, your arms looping around his neck as he passionately kissed you. 

You finally pulled away, your heart pounding from this sudden display of affection. Ren locked eyes with you again, giving you a prime seat to watch the regret set into his face.

“Oh, fuck,” he mumbled, his hands leaving your face.

Your heart ached as he pushed the covers aside and left you alone in the bed. 

You were tempted to call after him, but you knew it would be no use. 

The refresher door shut tightly behind him. 

The sheets went cold as you left to go get dressed, the feeling of Kylo’s lips on yours quietly reminding you of the moment you had shared.

_ There’s no way he could actually mean what he said last night after that… right? _ You thought to yourself as you tugged on a pair of stockings. Ren had told you last night that you had meetings, so you figured it’d be best to dress in one of your regular uniforms. A skirt, signature first order uniform shirt, and long jacket would do just fine for today. 

You slipped on a pair of boots, eyeing the refresher door as you did so. 

At that moment, you noticed the knot of hunger in your stomach.

_ Shit...I need breakfast.  _

You quietly walked over to the refresher door and gently knocked. “Commander Ren? I’m going out to get some breakfast, is that okay?”

“Yes, that’ll be fine. Just be sure to be in meeting room 801 before 10 o’clock.”

“Yes, Commander.” With that, you left the suite. 

**Canto** Bight felt hungover. Not many people were outside, aside from employees. The few people you did see were, well, hungover. 

As you walked down the main road, a store window caught your eye. Inside, all sorts of multicolored pastries were stacked from floor to ceiling inside glass cases. 

You went inside, the sweet smell of sugar and vanilla hitting your nose immediately. 

“‘Allo, my friend! Welcome to Cafe Raduli, home to the best pastries in all of Old Town Canto Bight. Can I help you with anything today?” the employee at the register said cheerfully. 

“Oh, no thank you,” you shook your head. “I’m just browsing.” You were slightly taken aback by his hospitality. You weren’t used to people being that nice to you. 

“Alrighty! Just let me know.”

You wandered the cafe for a few minutes, looking at all the decadent pastries and cakes. In one of the display cases, a small yellow cake with white icing blobs caught your eye. There was something about it that you loved, and you had to have it.

“Excuse me, I’ll take one of these cakes,” you called out to the employee, pointing at the little yellow cake.

He bustled over with a small box in hand. “Ah, an excellent choice, miss! I’ll ring you up over here,” he said, pointing to the desk by the door. He opened the case, took out the cake, and placed it delicately in the box. 

He joined you at the desk and punched in some numbers on the register. “Alright, your total today is gonna be 7 credits!” he said cheerfully, pushing the box toward you.

You dug around in the pockets of your uniform for a minute before pulling out two silver credits. “Here, keep the change,” you told him, placing them on the counter. You picked up the box from the counter and headed back out the door.

**Back** in the suite, Kylo had recovered from this morning. His mask sat next to him on the counter, watching silently. As he rinsed his face under some water, he heard the familiar sound of a hologram igniting behind him. 

“Ah, Supreme Leader Snoke,” Kylo said, whirling around to face Snoke’s holographic face. 

“I seem to have caught you at a bad time, Ren…” Snoke croaked. 

Kylo looked down at himself and realized he was still shirtless. His face burned with embarrassment as he struggled to form a sentence.

Snoke sighed. “Regardless, I have sensed a new conflict within you, my young apprentice.”

“Snoke, I-”

“Silence!”

“I see everything, Ren. I feel everything! You cannot hide from me.”

“Snoke, I can assure you this is nothing. She means nothing to me.”

“Oh,  _ she _ ? Ren, I did not mention anyone in particular.”

“We both know what this is about.”

“Good. Then  _ fix it _ . Get under control or I will have to step in.”

The hologram disappeared, leaving Ren alone in the refresher once again. He let out a shuddering sigh and grabbed his mask. He put it over his head, air hissing out from the sides. He stood up to full height and stared at his reflection in the mirror.

_ What have you gotten yourself into this time, Ren?  _

**You** walked along the sea wall for a few minutes before you found a quiet little spot to eat. You swung your legs over the side and perched yourself on the wall, the salty sea breeze lightly blowing your hair. You took out the small cake and lightly nibbled on it, the sweet lemon flavor flooding your tastebuds.

“Ooh, fuck, that’s good,” you accidentally said aloud.

“You might want to watch your mouth, Y/N. You never know who’s listening,” a familiar voice behind you said.

You whirled around to find General Hux leaning against the wall.

Your mouth was full of cake, but you attempted to speak nonetheless. You hovered your hand in front of your mouth as you spoke. “Oh, hi, General.” 

He gave you a small sarcastic smirk. “Enjoying breakfast?”

You nodded, your mouth still full. 

“Mind if I join you?” Hux asked.

You swallowed. “Uh, sure!” You tucked the pastry box closer to your body. 

Hux sat down on the wall next to you. You shifted a little bit, trying to pull your skirt down further. Whenever you sat down, it tended to hit mid-thigh when it should’ve fallen a little bit above your knee. Hux noticed, but he didn’t say anything to you.

“What’re you eating?” he asked.

“Oh, um, it’s this little cake I got from the cafe over there. It’s really good, do you want a bite?” You picked up the box and offered it to him.

Hux considered your offer for a moment. “Well, why not, hmm?” he said under his breath. He took one of his gloves off and swiped a little dollop of icing off the inside of the box with his finger. He popped it into his mouth and sucked it clean, carefully examining the taste. “That’s quite delicious.”

You smiled and closed the box. “Yeah, I’ve never had anything that sweet for breakfast,” you chuckled.

“I’m sure Ren is strict with you, what with you being his apprentice and all.”

“Huh? Uh, yeah. Yeah, I suppose so.” You looked over at Hux, locking eyes with him. 

You watched as his eyes carefully wandered down to your lips. Your heart fluttered a bit with each movement. 

He gently leaned forward. You knew where this was going, but you didn’t resist. You didn’t  _ want _ to resist. Your face was so close to his, and you watched as his gaze repeatedly flicked down to your lips. “Y/N…”

“Yes, general?” you replied breathlessly. Your heart pounded against your throat. 

You felt his gloved hand gently rest on top of yours. You could feel the heat start to rush to your face as he leaned in just a little bit more, your noses brushing and lips almost touching.

“I…” He didn’t finish his sentence. You grabbed onto the lapel of his coat and pulled him forwards, your lips colliding in a fury of passion. You melted into the kiss, your stomach fluttering.

As you pulled away, your eyes fluttered open to meet the General’s gaze. 

He admired you in silence for a moment, the intimacy lingering in the air. 

As he was about to go in for seconds, your pocket buzzed. 

“Oh, shit!” you hissed. You pulled the Comlink out of your pocket. 

Ren’s voice spoke to you through the small device, his words slightly muffled by static. “Y/N, your presence is requested immediately in meeting room 801. I trust you will not be late, as harsh consequences shall ensue.”

You looked apologetically at Hux, an unreadable expression on his face. “Sorry, General. I’ve got to go…” you told him.

He silently nodded. 

In a hurry, you gathered up your things and nearly sprinted to the meeting room. On the way, you only got lost a few times. 

When you finally reached the door, you realized Ren hadn’t given you the code to get in. 

“Fuuuckkk,” you whispered, taking your comlink out of your pocket. “Hey, Commander Ren, uh, I’m outside but I don’t have the room code. Could you either let me in or tell it to me?” You tried to speak as quietly as possible.

A moment later, the door hissed open. Inside, a long, black table took up most of the room. A few electronic displays covered the walls, and about twenty assorted chairs were arranged around the room. A silver embroidered black tablecloth covered the tabletop, the fabric reaching all the way to the floor. 

Ren was seated at the head of the table. He had his mask on, the dead expression staring into your face. 

“Y/N. Come here,” he told you.

With your eyes on the floor, you obeyed. “Yes, Commander?” 

He didn’t speak, instead, you saw his fingers flick downwards. The force weighed down on your shoulders, pushing you to your knees.

“Whoa! What…?”

“Shush, my pet. I have plans for you for this meeting.”

“Kylo, what...” you protested. 

He cut you off.  “You think I called you here to sit pretty next to me? No, I figured it’d be much better to put that dirty little mouth of yours to use.”

You sunk a little lower. The metal floor was cold and painful against your raw skin. “I…”

“Come. Kneel before me like the fucking whore you are.” 

You looked up at him, only met with the cold stare of his mask. Hesitantly, you opened your mouth a little bit.

He tilted his head to the side and leaned down to make eye contact with you. He took a firm grip on your chin and pulled your mouth open wider.

“You’re gonna have to be wider than that, dearie. Otherwise, I won’t even make it past your lips. Now,” he unzipped his pants. “Suck.” 

You sighed, but you eagerly took him in your mouth. He wasn’t completely hard yet, but with each flick of your tongue, you could feel him twitch. 

You watched as his gloved hand curled around the arm of the chair.

“That’s a good girl,” he murmured, running a hand through your hair. He was fully hard now. 

You couldn’t see much from your position under the table, but you could hear someone outside the door typing on the keypad.

“Don’t worry, pet. No one will see you. You just keep working until I cum. You are to stay on your knees until this meeting is over, understand?” 

You nodded, the tip just on your lips.

“Good girl,” he said as he gripped you tighter and forced your head down to the base. You gagged and kicked back, but he held you in place.

You heard the familiar hiss of the door opening. The click of boots on the floor made their way around the room.

“Commander Ren,” you heard someone say.

A second later, chairs pulled out from the table, and a few officers sat down. 

You felt Ren’s hand leave your hair and in its place, the force pushed you back down again.

“Mmf~!” you cried out, and Ren’s hand was quick to hold up a finger as a signal to quiet yourself. 

You rolled your eyes and continued working your tongue up and down the shaft. You could feel him throb as you watched his hand curl even tighter. Spit covered your lips. 

“Sir, Starkiller shall be fireable by this upcoming Centaxday,” a familiar voice said.

_ Hux?! _

The memories of your kiss flooded back, but as Ren forced his cock further down your throat, you were violently reminded of your current situation.

You decided to block Hux out of your mind at the moment. You wanted to focus on Ren. Hux was a problem for another day.

You sucked harder and felt Ren buck his hips a little bit. 

“Are you prepared to fire it on Centaxday? Because if I recall correctly, General, you said that before. About a month ago,” an indistinguishable voice piped up.

You gently played with the tip in your mouth a little bit, and you could taste a little bit of precum. 

“Well, we still have a few external weapons systems to finish. The main canon should be operational soon, though. I can assure you,” Hux said defensively.

You had slowed your pace. You were trying to listen to the meeting, but in turn, you weren’t exactly doing the best job. Ren noticed, and ran his hand back through your hair. The leather of his glove creaked a bit as his hand tightened. He forcefully pushed you down further, a little bit of spit sliding down the shaft of his cock.

As you picked your pace up again, you felt his whole body tighten. A split second later, you felt his hot and sticky cum slide down your throat. You felt it slide down your chin as you pulled away, a little tendril of spit connecting your lips to the head of his cock. 

As you wiped your chin off, you heard a quiet clicking noise. You turned, to see Hux snapping his fingers quietly at you. He pointed at his lap. 

_ Wha…? Does he know?  _ You thought to yourself.

He snapped again, this time more violently. 

You swallowed. 

_ Oh god. _

You knew what you had to do.

As quietly as you could, you crawled across the floor. You knelt in front of Hux as he unzipped his pants.

He wasn’t as big as Kylo, but to be fair, you hadn’t ever seen a dick as big as his.

You took him into your mouth and gently played with the tip, lightly sucking as you felt him twitch. You knew Kylo liked it rough, but you didn’t quite know what Hux liked. You began to work his length with your hands a bit as your mouth continued playing with the tip. 

Hux kept his hands firmly rested on the arms of the chair. He was leaving you to do all the work. So, you planted your hands on his inner thighs and started to take him in long, slow, strokes. You looked up at him every time you reached the base and saw his cheeks tinge red, but he refused to look at you. Probably for the best. He still had to speak during this meeting.

After a few minutes of alternating between using your hands and using only your mouth, his hand came down and grabbed onto your hair. He forcefully shoved you downwards, his cock sliding even further down your throat. A muffled cry came from your throat but was quickly silenced as Hux came. 

Tears pricked your eyes as he pulled out, leaving you to clean up the mess. You swallowed, and he cleared his throat and continued talking about business aboard Starkiller.

Slight shame rang through your body as you realized what you did. You really hoped Ren had no idea what just happened. 

**After** what seemed like an eternity, you heard the door close behind the last person. It was just you and Kylo now, at least you assumed. 

Shamefully, you crawled out from under the table. 

Kylo was sitting with one leg crossed over the other. He watched you come out from beneath the table and awkwardly sit in one of the chairs. You pulled your skirt down a touch and straightened yourself out.

You opened your mouth to say something, but Kylo held his hand up to silence you. 

“We depart in a few hours. I trust you to be ready to leave by 1700 hours, understand?” he said.

You sighed. “Yes, commander.” You pushed yourself up out of the chair and left Kylo alone in the meeting room. 

**A** few hours later, you stood at the stargate with your packed bags at your feet. Stormtroopers escorted you onto the Command Shuttle.

Per usual (and to your disappointment), Commander Ren was nowhere to be seen. 

You took your seat behind the pilots and wistfully closed your eyes. You were so tired from today’s...earlier events...that all you wanted to do was fall asleep and wake up when you arrived home. Lucky for you, you managed to pass out while the command shuttle was still being loaded up.

A few minutes after you fell asleep, Kylo walked on board. Instead of taking a seat away across from you, a different thought crossed his mind. He glanced at the pilots, then back at you.

_ She looks so peaceful when she’s sleeping… _

Ever so gently, he slid into the seat next to you. He took off his mask as quietly as possible and set it beside him. Unconsciously, you shifted in your sleep so you were curled up next to him, your head resting on his shoulder. A small smile spread onto his face, and he rested his head on top of yours.

The Command Shuttle entered Hyperspace. You two would be home soon. Kylo knew this, and a certain sadness took over his mind. He wanted to stay like this for much longer. He wanted you to be his. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IK I keep saying I'll try and be consistent but I think I've come to the conclusion that consistency really isn't my thing. So, I will try and get the next chapter out as soon as possible. If you're enjoying the story so far, leave a comment! I love reading what you guys have to say. Also if you have any suggestions for scenes because writer's block is a bitch. I love every single one of you readers and I hope y'all are doing well!! :D


	6. The Stupid Part of The Brain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of downtime after your travels

**You** awoke to the hiss of the doors and the sound of N2-K7 entering your room. Confused, you sat up and rubbed your eyes. You looked around. You were no longer on the Command Shuttle, but instead neatly tucked under the covers of your own bed. You were still wearing your uniform, but someone had taken your shoes off and set them by the door.

“N2?” you called out, your voice a little rough.

“Oh! Apprentice Y/N! You’re awake,” the droid replied. He was busy picking up your bags and putting them in the closet.

“Wh...where’s Kylo?” You asked him, sliding out of the silky sheets. 

“Master Ren has a meeting with Supreme Leader Snoke.”

Your heart sank a bit. “Oh.”

N2 sensed the sadness in your tone. “Apprentice Y/N, I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

“That’s not...I wasn’t… I don’t miss him or anything. I was just wondering,” you stammered, trying to cover up your true tone.

“Of course. Would you like me to unpack for you?” the droid asked, changing the subject.

You waved your hand dismissively. “No, no, I’ll get it.”

N2 straightened up and headed for the door. “Alright. Call if you need me.”

You nodded, and the door shut tightly behind him. 

You slid off the edge of the bed and started unpacking your bag. As you took out the clothes and shoes, you noticed a little piece of paper had fallen out. You picked it up and unfolded it. 

As your eyes scanned the paper, you realized it was the same note he had given you with the dress. You smiled, remembering how fun that night was. As you re-read it again, you suddenly felt a little pool of sadness begin to make it’s home in your heart. You wanted to see him again. Badly. 

“Ah, but the meeting with Snoke. He’s busy, leave him alone,” you told yourself.

But a little voice at the back of your head whispered, _a little walk by the throne room wouldn’t hurt, right?_

You sighed, disappointed in your lack of self-control. But as you slipped on your shoes that feeling quickly melted.

You poked your head out of your room, scanning the hallway. It was mostly empty except for a few troopers and a cleaning droid. Confidently, you stepped out and started making your way to the throne room. It was a decent walk from your wing of Starkiller, but that just gave you some time to think about what exactly your plan was.

_So, I’ll walk up, just see if he’s busy, and if he’s not then maybe I’ll ask what my next assignment is? Yes, yes that’s a good idea. Simple, nonchalant, and strictly business. Perfect._

You neared the throne room, but you could see the door was wide open. Normally, it’d be closed if they were in a meeting. Carefully, you looked inside. 

There was no one in sight, not even Snoke. Only the dominant shadows of the throne itself danced on the floor.

Against your better nature, you decided to take a quick look around. You’d really only ever been in here on formal occasions, and you’d never had it to yourself.

As quietly as you could, you walked up to the throne. 

You skimmed your hand along the cold stone, drumming your fingers on the armrest.

You smiled a little bit as you looked at the throne.

“One day this will be mine,” you said quietly to yourself.

You glanced around the room, double-checking to make sure you were really alone. 

Once you decided the coast was clear, you sat down on the armrest. You did one final look around before sliding all the way into the throne. Your legs dangled over the side, and you kicked them playfully as you giggled with giddy excitement.

You swung your legs to the front and straightened yourself out. You fixed your posture and sat up straight. You rested your arms gracefully on the armrests and put a serious expression on your face.

You closed your eyes and sighed. It felt so good to feel powerful, even if you were just pretending. 

“Miss Y/N?” said an automated voice.

You jumped at the sudden interruption, but it was only your droid. You cleared your throat and sat up a little straighter. “Yes, N2?” 

“General Hux would like to request an audience with you.”

“Oh? Where does he need me to be?”

The droid didn’t answer you. Instead, N2 turned his back to you and started to walk away.

You started to get up from the throne. “N2? Come back! I wasn’t finished with you!” you called after him. It was too late. 

You muttered a string of curses under your breath and began to walk away from the throne. You only got down the first step before you looked up and saw General Hux standing in the doorway.

“Don’t get up, Y/N,” he said.

“Oh, I wasn’t….I didn’t…” you started.

“I won’t tell if you don’t,” he replied with a wink.

You backed up and sat back down on the throne, crossing your legs. A smile flickered onto your face. “Fine, then. What is it that you wanted to speak to me about, General?”

He approached you and stopped at the base of the steps up to the throne. A little jolt of energy shot down your spine as you saw him standing there with his hands tucked behind his back.

“Nothing much, Supreme Leader. Just wanted to update you on our progress on the base,” he said, a devilish grin on his face.

“Oh, really?” You straightened up and cleared your throat. He was indulging you. You propped your chin up with your palm. You waved your fingers as a gesture for him to continue.

“We’ve secured a few new deals on Canto Bight. Those shipments shall be arriving shortly, and with my best team on it, we could get the new ion cannons installed as soon as Primeday.”

“Oh, excellent work, General,” you said with mock interest. “Now, tell me, what are your plans for avoiding another ‘Death Star’ incident?”

Hux was a little surprised at this question. He hadn’t thought of that lately. “Well, we’ll have a squadron of tie fighters ready to launch just in case those pesky rebels show up. And I’m sure you’re familiar with the extensive security protocols here on base. We’ll be fine, Supreme Leader. I’m sure of it.”

“Whatever you say, General.” You stood up, pushing yourself off the throne. “Best of luck to you and your team.” You smiled and patted him in the shoulder, your hand slipping down his upper arm and lingering for just a moment too long. You left the throne room, a newfound aura of confidence surrounding you. 

Hux watched you walk away, the feeling of your touch lingering on his arm. 

As you rounded the corner, you melted. You looked behind you to make sure Hux wasn’t following you. You laughed a little bit under your breath. You were simply glowing. 

As you glanced behind you one last time, your stride came to a halt as you bumped into someone directly in your path. 

“Oh! Sorry!” you stammered, backing up. You looked up only to find Kylo Ren staring down at you.

“Fuck,” you mumbled. “Hi, Kylo.”

“Apprentice Y/N, what exactly were you just doing?” The mask obscured his words. It really was an effective intimidation tactic, but you’d never admit it. 

“N-N-Nothing, sir. I swear!” you babbled.

“Then how come you look so...energetic, hm? And need I not mention the fact that I just saw Hux also leave that room?” he asked.

“Commander Ren, I really promise you-” your words were cut off as you were suddenly pushed up against the wall. Ren was only inches from your face. _AGAIN._ You squeaked and quickly trying to calm yourself down. Something inside of you was smiling like the devil, but you were so determined to ignore it.

You were so close to him that you could hear his breathing through the mask. “You best watch yourself, Y/N,” he threatened with a raised voice. 

He released his grip, and you slid down against the wall. He stepped away from you, but you couldn’t tell what was going on in that head of his. 

He glanced around the two of you quickly, and then lowered his voice. “You better stop fucking with things, understand? You’re still my apprentice and you still have to train. Don’t go thinking you’re above the others just because of the past few days. You are to train hard, just like everyone else. I’m busy, and I don’t have time for your stupid little games or whatever is happening between you and the General. It stops now, am I understood?”

You sighed. “Yes, Commander. I understand.” He looked at you for a moment, unsure of your sincerity but he quickly brushed past you and began to walk back down the hall. 

You rolled your eyes. He was right, you did need to train. You’d been skipping out lately and honestly, you missed it a little bit. 

You headed back to your room to change and gather your equipment. 

**You** slid your shoes off, leaving them in a messy pile by the door. You unbuttoned your shirt and stripped off your tights. Wiggling out of your skirt, you stepped into the closet. You ran your finger over the endless coats and shirts on the hangers and decided on your favorite combo of sports bra and leggings. 

Once dressed, you grabbed your lightsaber from its usual resting place on the bedside table. Unlike Kylo, you didn’t normally carry it everywhere. Most of the other apprentices didn’t either. You supposed it was some sort of unspoken rule. A privilege you had to earn. 

You tossed it up into the air and caught it in your hand, testing the weight. It’d been a hot minute since you had practiced with it.

Regardless, you left the room and headed down to the training center.

**The** doors opened, and to your luck, only Drax was there. She was practicing a particularly difficult series of moves against a training droid. You’d been trying to learn the same one for a while, but she was much more dedicated to getting it right.

Drax noticed you standing in the doorway. A large smile spread across her face as she clicked off her saber and ran to hug you.

“Y/N?? Is that really you? I swear, I thought you were dead!” she rambled as she wrapped her arms around you tightly.

“I might as well be. You’ll never guess what I’ve been up to,” you said, getting your lightsaber out. 

“You have to tell me all about it. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!” 

“It’s been a little while, hasn’t it?” you chuckled.

“Uh, yeah! Yes, it has. You haven’t been to training for like a week. I’ve had to deal with Skorr and Sotay Jin all alone. Where the hell have you been, dude?!” Drax complained.

“Drax, it was only a few days!”

“Yeah, okay you might be right but what the hell have you been up to?”

You bit your tongue, holding in a few thoughts. “I was on a mission with Commander Ren this past weekend.”

“Ohhh, so that’s where he’s been. Skorr would not stop asking me if I knew where he was.”

“He didn’t tell you guys where he was going?” you asked, genuinely curious. 

“Of course not, Y/N. He’s Kylo Ren. He thinks he doesn’t owe anyone an explanation,” she replied, rolling her eyes. 

“Right. Anyways, last Zhellday after…” you hesitated. You couldn’t tell Drax what had _really_ transpired before he invited you on the trip. “A training session he told me I had to go with him to Canto Bight.”

“Canto Bight?” she asked, confused. Sometimes you forgot how little Drax knew about the Galaxy. She’d never really been too far from the base. 

“It’s this resort town type thing on Cantonica,” you explained. 

“And that is where…?”

“Outer rim.”

“Ah. That’s pretty far, isn’t it?”

“Yep. So, I show up the next day and he’s literally nowhere to be seen. I get on the command shuttle and the bastard doesn’t even show up on time!” you continued. 

Drax smiled. “Classic Ren.”

You laughed. “Yeah, well, we get to Canto Bight.” You turned to look Drax in the eyes, an intense expression on your face. “Drax, I swear to you, this place was nothing like anything I’ve ever seen. It was so beautiful. And warm! Such a good change of pace.”

Drax sighed wistfully. “Sounds lovely…”

“I haven’t even told you my favorite part!” You added excitedly. You weren’t lying, it really was your favorite part. 

“And that is..?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“I got to stay in Commander Ren’s personal suite!!” You whispered excitedly.

Drax gasped. “Holy shit! Are you serious?!”

You nodded. 

“Did he stay there...with you?!” she hissed.

You smiled, not saying anything. Drax knew exactly what you were trying to hide.

“Y/N! You Schutta!” she said, a tiny note of judgment in her tone.

You rolled your eyes at her. “Yeah, yeah. Nothing happened!”

“I don’t believe you, but okay. God, you’re lucky. I bet you’re his favorite.”

“No way! He loves all of us equally.”

“I think you mean he hates all of us equally,” Drax joked. 

You laughed. “Sure. We’ll go with that. Now enough chit chat! I have to make up for this weekend or else Ren will kick my ass.”

“I bet you’d like that though,” Drax said with a wink.

“Shut up, oh my god! Can we train?!”

She laughed. “Fine. But you better tell me if anything _does_ happen.”

You didn’t say anything. You just gave her a look™ before igniting your lightsaber and turning on one of the training droids. Drax joined you, her saber ready to attack the lasers the droid shot at you two. 

The rest of your training session was filled with offhand remarks and giggles as you and Drax exchanged anecdotes about the weekend. Apparently, Sotay Jin and Skorr had been quite the handful.

As Drax rambled on, you sigh contentedly. You were happy to be home, and have a distraction from the brewing conflict between you, Kylo, and Hux. 

**After** training, you headed to the cafeteria to grab some dinner with Drax. It was getting late, and you were pretty hungry. You hadn’t had anything since breakfast and you figured it was probably already dark outside. 

As you and Drax walked down the hallway, you passed the other Apprentice’s rooms. Skorr poked his head out of the doorway when he heard you and Drax in the hall, a stupid grin on his face. 

“Hello, ladies!” he said cheerfully, stepping out into the hallway.

You and Drax exchanged looks.

“Hello, Skorr,” you replied coolly.

“Where are you two headed on this fine evening?” he inquired, walking behind you two.

“Just gonna grab some dinner from the Cafeteria, that’s all,” Drax said.

“Oh! Mind if I join in then?” 

Grimacing, you put on a fake smile. You didn’t really like Skorr that much. “Sure. Why not?” 

He smiled and picked up the pace to match your and Drax’s stride. He continued to pester you with questions about your whereabouts this weekend, to which you threw a whole different bunch of excuses at. You didn’t really want him to know, but at the same time, you didn’t care if he did. You were pretty sure he’d just make fun of you for it anyway.

As the three of you entered the Cafeteria, you noticed the kitchen was still open and serving hot food. You also saw Sabrak hunched over a book, shoveling some sort of meaty dish into his mouth. You chuckled a little bit, reminded of how Kylo ate at the dinner party on Canto Bight. Drax gave you a funny look, but she didn’t ask.

You followed Drax and Skorr into the line for the kitchen and grabbed a tray. Drax decided to go with a Dantooine Flapjack, her usual pick. Skorr decided to order some Thakitillo in what seemed like a desperate attempt to impress you and Drax. You guys normally only ate thakitillo at formal dinners, it wasn’t a simple midnight snack. 

When your turn came to order, you chose to go with the Kodari-rice and crab Rotoven. A good, simple dinner that’d hold you over for a while. 

The chef placed the steaming plate down on your tray. Delicious smells flooded your nose. Damn, you were hungry. You couldn’t wait to dig in. On your way to the table, you grabbed a couple of glasses of water for you and Drax.

You sat down. Drax and Skorr had decided to sit with Sabrak who was completely uninterested in making conversation. Not like you were making much anyway. Everyone was quiet as they ate their dinner. You were so hungry. 

You practically inhaled your food. Drax and Skorr had started complaining together about their seemingly endless meetings. You weren’t too interested in hearing about that, so you decided to just zone out and enjoy the downtime.

Before you knew it, everyone else was done and the kitchens were closing. You cleaned up, said goodnight to the others (who were still going off about their meetings), and headed to your room.

The hallways were empty, only the quiet whirring of the air purifiers and the quiet clicking of your shoes on the floor.

You opened the door to your quarters and practically collapsed on the bed. You were exhausted. It’d felt like such a long day. You sighed deeply and took off your leggings. You pulled the sports bra over your head and left them both in a pile on the floor. You were too tired to put it in the laundry, let alone go fish out some PJs from the closet, so instead, you just slid into bed with only panties on. The silk sheets felt marvelous against your exposed skin. Within minutes, you were asleep.

**The** alarm on your datapad blared, making you jerk awake. The room was freezing, and it didn’t help that you were only in your underwear. 

You turned off the alarm and got out of bed.

Stretching and yawning, you looked out the giant windows to see a fresh blanket of snow on the ground and light snow falling from the sky.

You smiled. “Today is gonna be a good day. No missions. Nowhere required to be. Yep. It’s gonna be good.” you told yourself quietly. 

Deciding to be productive, you thought that hitting the outdoor training course first thing would be a good way to wake up. So, you tied up your hair, threw on some warm clothes, grabbed your lightsaber and a protein bar from your bag, and headed out.

You said good morning to the troopers by the door to the course, and they nodded in acknowledgment when you passed through the doorway.

The cold air hit your face, causing your hair to fly back in the stream of cold air. You shuddered. The cold made your teeth chatter, but you took a deep breath and began running through the snow-covered forest. 

Your heart thundered and your breath quickened as you ran. Your feet pounded against the ground. Up ahead, you saw the entrance to the training course. 

Igniting your lightsaber, you charged forwards and onto the main path. The wind bit your face as you spiraled around, deflecting a hit from the combat droid. Unfazed, you kept running. You’d done this course a million times so you knew exactly when to swing and when to dodge.

You backflipped over a gap in the earth, using the force to pull you back to the ground. A droid came at you, but you quickly swung and cut it down, the metal melting with the blow. A wave of deep anger surged within you, fueling your actions. Kylo had worked extensively with you and the others on using hate, anger, and aggression to access the more powerful side to the force.

So, as you tore through the woods, you breathed in deeply, and let a dark feeling set over your heart. A primal scream escaped your throat as you jumped upwards and slashed one of the droids straight down the middle.

**Inside** the base, and unbeknownst to you, Kylo was standing at his window that faced the forest. He could see the course, but he rarely looked at it since he quite honestly didn’t care if anyone was running it. 

Today, however, he felt differently. After a particularly sleepless night, he stood at the window thinking of his next move and how to handle Snoke. As he was about to turn away, he saw a flash of red in the trees. He watched as you charged through the trees, viciously cutting through the “enemies”. He watched with a small smile on his face as you executed that flip and landed in the perfect position to attack the droid.

He could barely see your face, but he knew it was you for one reason or another. Watching closely, he could barely keep his eyes off you. He was mesmerized by your spins and turns.

Kylo paused. Something had changed. He could feel the raw power and anger surging from you. It came in pulsating waves, each time he could feel it get stronger. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and as he did so, he could feel a very strong ripple in the force echo throughout the base. His eyes shot open. You were no longer visible on the course. 

**With** a final slash, you took down the last enemy. You sprinted through the last segment of the course, blood pumping. You could see your breath in the cold air as the chill began to sting again. 

You felt so good. So energized. And weirdly calm for the amount of aggression you had put into that run. 

Content with your workout, you headed back to base. 

**Warm** water cascaded over your shoulders and back. You ran your hands through your hair, rinsing out all the conditioner. The hot water eased the sore coldness of your session. You scrubbed and massaged your face and then turned to rinse it in the stream of water from the showerhead. It was only meant to be a quick shower, so before you could have an existential crisis, you turned off the water.

You stepped out and grabbed a towel. The fan was on, but it didn’t do a very good job of clearing out the steam. A coat of water droplets covered the mirror so you had to use your hand to swipe a little clear spot.

You decided against makeup for the time being since it would be better to do it after you put some clothes on.

A little cloud of steam rushed out from the refresher as you opened the door. You headed to the closet and dropped the towel. Looking through the outfits on the rack, something caught your attention out of the corner of your eye.

Kylo Ren, maskless, was laying on your bed scrolling absentmindedly through a datapad. He was lying on his back holding the datapad up in the air. One leg was dangling off the bed, his toes tapping to an invisible beat. He didn’t look at you.

“FUCK! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” you screamed, trying to grab that discarded towel to cover yourself up.

“Relax. I’m just here to-” he stopped mid-sentence, his eyes growing wider as he locked eyes with you, struggling to cover yourself. “Y/N...Why are you naked?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! I was in the shower you goddamn blaster-brained moof milker!! What the hell did you think I was doing? Did you not hear the shower running?!” you yelled. _God, who did the fucker think he is? Walking in here, unannounced, and then deciding to stay?!_

“Don’t speak to me like that, Y/N,” he warned.

You cocked your head and straightened up, holding your towel as close to your body as possible. “Oh, _I’m sorry, Commander_ but exactly who THE FUCK do you think you are?! Coming in here, unannounced while you know I’m in the shower? What did you expect, for me not to get mad? Fucking hell, Ren.” 

Kylo’s hand shot out, and you felt the force tightly around your neck. He pulled you in close, your feet lifting off the ground. You struggled to breathe as his fingers took their place on your neck instead of the force. “I. Told. You. Don’t speak to me like that.”

“Shit, I-I’m sorry, Commander,” you choked out, your cheeks tinging pink. He wasn’t choking you hard, but hard enough to make you....feel things.

He studied your face, watching the slight enjoyment dance across your eyes. He pulled you in even closer, so you were pressed up against his chest. You could hear his heart beating quickly as his grip on your neck loosened. 

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so rough with you,” he murmured, his hands leaving you entirely.

 _Wait. What? He’s apologizing?_ “That’s not what I'm mad about, Ren. I’m mad that-” you stopped. You noticed his mask, cape, shoes, and gloves on the table by the door. This was the least amount of clothes you’d seen him in on Starkiller. Ever. Usually, it was just his mask. But no, he came here and practically stripped. He knew you were in the shower. He wasn’t dumb, you just didn’t notice the clues.

You looked up at him, still clutching the towel to yourself. “Kylo...why did you come here?” you asked with sincerity.

“It’s nothing, Y/N. Clearly, I'm not wanted here. I’ll leave,” he replied coldly, turning towards.

A stupid, stupid part of your brain wanted him to stay so desperately. The rest of you thought that was a terrible idea considering you did not exactly approve of his actions. _But oh no, he’s putting the gloves back on. Hurry, Y/N. Say something, anything!_

“WAIT!” you blurted out. He turned to look at you, a puzzled look on his face. “Stay,” you said quietly, shifting your weight from foot to foot. The stupid part had won.

“What?”

“Stay. Please.”

Kylo smiled a tiny bit and took the glove off. “Why’s that, Y/N? Why should I stay?”

“We can talk about this. Also, I had something I needed to ask you about and this’ll just be more convenient for me. Just...let me get dressed first,” you said quickly, trying to think of literally any valid reason for him to stay.

Kylo went and sat back down on the bed. He looked you up and down for a moment. Then, in a deliciously low voice, he said, “No. Don’t. Leave the towel, doll.”

You nervously laughed. “What?”

“Leave it. Come.” He gestured for the spot next to him on the bed.

“Kylo, I’m not looking to-”

“Come,” he said again, this time a little more forcefully. 

_Goddammit._ The stupid part of your brain was now in control. This is what you’d wanted from the moment you stopped him from leaving, but at the same time, you knew it was incredibly wrong. But goddammit, you stepped closer to him. 

As you were about to sit down, he grabbed your hips and pulled you on top of him so you were now practically straddling him. You gasped quietly as he ran one hand up your back and grabbed a fistful of your hair. Kylo leaned in. You could feel his breath on your neck. A shiver ran down your spine as he spoke.

“You like that, don’t you, girl?” His low voice made you melt. 

You couldn’t manage to force words out, just a little whimper.

“Aw, you can’t even speak. I’ve barely done anything,” he cooed.

You shifted your weight, trying to get off his lap, but he planted one hand on your thigh and firmly held you in place. “Don’t go anywhere just yet, sweetheart. Isn’t this what you wanted?” You felt him move under you, and as he did you felt something...hard press into you. Your breath hitched.

“Fuck…” you whispered quietly.

Without warning, his hand slid under the towel and up your torso. He grabbed your breast, squeezing it gently. He pressed his face into your neck and began to suck.

“Whhhhh...holy-” your words were cut off by a moan as he pinched your nipple and twisted it between his fingers. You could feel his teeth against your skin as he finished sucking a hickey onto you. 

You ground a little bit on his lap, his bulge pressing into you. 

“See, I know you want me. You try so hard to hide it but I know what you really want,” he murmured.

“No, no, it’s wrong. I shouldn’t be fucking my mentor. This is wrong, Kylo!” you whined.

He grabbed your hair again, pulling your head back to look him in the eyes. “And yet, you’re still grinding against me like a pathetic little whore.”

You whimpered. He was right. And he knew it too. All he did was give you a little smile before lifting you up off his lap. He twisted, looping one leg over you and using that leverage to spin you around. Suddenly you found yourself on your back, Kylo looming over you.

Gently, he gripped your thighs and pried your legs apart. A little shudder rattled down your spine. Before he continued, he noticed you were still gripping the towel to your chest.

“Sweetheart, lose the towel.”

As you pulled it off, part of you cringed a bit. You were a bit self-conscious about your body. You bit your lip nervously, worried about what Kylo would think.

He looked down at you, a deep understanding in those hazel eyes of his. “Oh, darling” he sighed. 

Your chest tightened. _He hates me, doesn’t he?_

“No, no, quite the opposite my love,” he whispered, tracing his hands along your skin. For a second you forgot he could hear your thoughts. “You’re perfect…” 

“Really?” You looked up at him, doe-eyed. 

He leaned down gently, pressing his weight into you. He began peppering kisses all down your neck and chest, his hands resting on your hips. “Really,” he murmured between kisses. “You’re so pretty, doll. So pretty.” 

You smiled, a beautiful feeling in your heart.

He pressed your legs further apart, and consequently, his bulge into your womanhood. Fuck, he was hard. You bucked a little bit under his movements. Kylo noticed, and one of his hands slid up to your breast and as he played with your nipple he murmured in your ear in that deliciously low voice of his, “I just love ruining pretty little things like you.”

“Fffuck…” you moaned as he traced his other hand down your v-line and over your slit. 

“Aw, do you want me, you little whore? Is that what this is?” The familiar sound of him unzipping his pants echoed in your ears. 

“Mm-hmm!” you whimpered. 

“Then _stop_ acting like you don’t. We both know you just want me to fuck you,” he whispered forcefully into your ear. He rubbed the head of his cock against your clit, carefully watching you writhe with his touch.

You’d had enough. “Yes, yes please Commander. I do. I want you to fuck me!” you whined.

“See? That’s all I wanted to hear, doll.” A devilish grin crossed his face as he slowly pushed into you. You cried out, having forgotten how big he was. 

He started off slowly, savoring your little moans and whimpers but soon enough he realized he couldn’t help himself. 

“Come here,” he growled, picking you up again and setting you down on his lap. His hands wrapped around your thighs, gently squeezing as he lowered you back down onto his cock. “Ffffuck,” he hissed. 

He continued like this for a bit, going slow and gentle. It wasn’t like the first time you’d fucked him. That time, he’d been animalistic and fast. This time, he was almost...caring? Internally, you doubted whether or not Commander Ren could be “caring”. He certainly wasn’t in his words. But his actions told a different story. 

He finished shortly after you did, leaving the two of you a hot and sticky gasping mess in the sheets. Your ears were ringing a bit as you finally rolled off him.

“That was…” you started.

“Nice,” Kylo said for you.

“Nice?” You laughed. “Best sex I’ve ever had and all you can think to say is ‘nice’?”

Kylo rolled over so he was laying on his side, his beautiful hazel eyes studying you. A few strands of hair fell into his face.

You wanted to say so many things to him, the words dancing across the tip of your tongue. 

As you were about to open your mouth to speak, he said, “Mind if I use your refresher?”

Caught off guard by this request, of course, you obliged. “Yeah, of course.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled before pushing himself off your bed.

You watched quietly as he disappeared behind the doors.

A single thought lingered with you as you heard the shower start running. _Kylo Ren wasn’t one to say thank you._

**By** the time you’d cleaned yourself up and gotten dressed, Kylo wasn’t out of the shower yet. 

A wave of exhaustion hit you as you laid down on your bed again. The training course from this moring plus you and Kylo’s...activities had worn you out.

 _It wouldn’t hurt to just close my eyes for a second, right? Who knows when he’ll be out of there, maybe I’ll just take a quick nap while I wait..._ You thought to yourself as you curled up under the covers.

The last thing you felt before you completely passed out was the sheets moving, and then the sudden warm embrace of Kylo’s strong arms wrapping around you. He pulled you close to him and began to gently play with your hair as you drifted off. 

You could only think one thought as your brain practically turned to mush at his touch.

_Hehe...he’s not wearing a shirt..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Readers, I need your advice. Should I give General Hux a villain arc? When I say villain arc, I'm talking some pretty serious stuff. If you'd prefer it to be more lightweight with him then I'd advise against it, but I'm kinda leaning towards making him more villainous even though I actually like Hux as a character.


	7. Worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter chapter here, with a little less Kylo and a little more conflict.

**You** woke up still cradled in Kylo’s arms. “Hey, sleepyhead,” you teased as you rolled over to face him. 

He smiled sleepily at you before sitting up and stretching. You watched his beautiful muscles as he moved, and you hoped he didn’t see you staring too much.

“So, are you ready to go?” he asked as he finished his stretch.

“Hm? Go where?” you said. You didn’t know of anywhere you had to be today.

“I’ve got a meeting with Snoke in about fifteen minutes, and I’d like you to accompany me.”

“Oh, um, I wasn’t really planning-”  
“It’s an order, y/n.” 

“It doesn’t have to be, I was willing to go,” you grumbled as you got out of bed.

“Good.” Kylo slipped on his shirt, cape, gloves, and boots. He held his mask under one arm. “Shall we?”  
Reluctantly, you put your shoes on and followed him out into the hallway.

**Snoke’s** throne room wasn’t too far from the apprentice’s quarters. Then again, “not too far” on Starkiller meant it was at least one wing over. 

As you entered the huge room, nerves flooded through you. You rarely went to meetings like this. It was only you, Kylo, and Hux. Normally the other apprentices would join you as well, but for some reason, today was different. You had a terrible gut feeling that you probably weren’t supposed to be there.

“General Hux, have you continued tracking the Resistance? They’re the largest threat to Starkiller at the moment,” Snoke said after everyone had arrived.

“Yes, Supreme Leader. They’re just a bunch of puny rebels, they won’t be a problem. We’ve been monitoring their moves closely,” Hux replied.

“Excellent. Now, Kylo Ren, how is the apprentice’s training going?”  
A sinking feeling entered your body. You definitely were not supposed to be here. Oops.

“Just fine, Snoke.”

“Will they be ready for the upcoming elimination?” Snoke asked.

Kylo glanced over at you.

_Fuck. Elimination?_

“Yes, they will. They’ve been training exceptionally hard lately and I have every confidence in them that they will produce the results you’re looking for,” Kylo said after a moment.

“I will hold you to that, my young apprentice.”  
The rest of the meeting felt like a blur. Mostly it was snoke berating Kylo and Hux for various different things. Your mind was focused on the upcoming event.

At the end of each three-month training block, there was a battle between the apprentices as an elimination event. Usually, two would not make it out alive. It wasn’t anything new, necessarily. You’d been through it before plenty of times. You were very familiar with the process, but this time things felt a little different.

Perhaps Kylo had brought you here so you could know about it before the others, sort of to give you a head start. But the way he looked at you when Snoke had brought it up told you otherwise. You weren’t supposed to know about this yet. It was technically cheating, but if your life was on the line it was best to be prepared.

The only thing that concerned you most about this round was who was advancing. You knew you had a very good chance, especially considering your heads up on the timing. 

Sotay would likely be moving forward too. She was ruthless in these events. 

That left Drax, Skorr, and Sabrak. You knew Sabrak could be useful to team up with, but Sotay likely would get her hooks in him before you. The only one you really worried about was Drax. You could only pray that she’d make it, but you were very worried about her. She wasn’t as physically strong as Sabrak, and not as agile as Skorr or Sotay. To be honest, you weren’t quite sure how she’d held on this long. 

_The force works in mysterious ways..._ you thought to yourself.

**As** you walked out of the throne room, Kylo could sense something was off with you.

“I didn’t mean for you to find out,” he told you bluntly.

Lost in thought, you were caught off guard by him talking to you. “Oh, it’s fine. Gives me a bit of a head start on preparations, I suppose.”  
“Y/N. Something’s wrong. What is it?” Kylo asked.

“Nothing, Kylo. It’s nothing.”

“No, it’s not.”  
“Stop prying. I’m fine. Just a bit worried, okay?”  
“Why are you worried?”

“Do you just not get it? I could be murdered next week. You’re acting like it’s nothing, but my life gets put on the chopping block every three months and I have to fight tooth and nail just to live another day. Like that’s nothing to be worried about.” You didn’t mean to go off like that, but goddamn it felt good.

“Y/N…” Kylo started to say. You could feel that he wasn’t quite sure how to react.

“Leave me alone, please. I need to think.”

Kylo didn’t say anything. He simply turned down a different hallway, leaving you alone in the hallway.

Your head buzzed with a million plans of how to win.

Deciding to get a jump on training, you headed back to your room and changed into your training uniform. You grabbed your lightsaber and headed to the workout room. 

**As** you began your warmup, you started to think about Drax. 

_What’ll happen if she loses?_

The thoughts flowed through you like water. 

You couldn’t imagine life on Starkiller without her, but it was your fault for getting so attached. You weren’t supposed to have “friends”. And yet, you managed to not only have a friend but a best friend.

The plans began to form. After being through so many of these events before, you had a pretty good strategy. Find a teammate, and then cut down everyone else. 

As you weighed your options, you knew Drax would be the best. With you by her side, you’d both make it. Sabrak wouldn’t be a bad choice either, but as previously discussed, he was probably already going to team up with Sotay. 

Then there was Skorr. You could already tell he wasn’t going to make it. Easy enough, that’s one down, only one to go. 

You stopped and took a breath. You were getting ahead of yourself.

Truly, the best plan would be to be quick on your feet and show no mercy.

You tried to focus on using the force to move weights around the room, but all it ended with was the weights spinning around you. 

“AGH!” You cried out as you sat down on the floor in a huff. The weights dropped to the ground with a loud thud. It was too much. You always hated these events. They always left you so anxious and tired. 

As you sat on the floor of the training room, you realized that out of all the thoughts spinning around your head, one thing was clear. 

Sotay and Skorr had to lose. And you would make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got the whole fic planned out, so new chapters should hopefully be uploaded more frequently :)


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